Gone... and forgotten.

List 8 things you think people forgot how to do.

Initially I cursorily dismissed this prompt, thinking it would be difficult to think of eight things.  For some reason, though, I kept coming back to it so I decided to try to jot down as many things I could think of in five minutes.

Just off the top of my head, I came up with around 30 things.

Apparently, it wasn't so difficult after all.  However, in the spirit of brevity (not one of my strong points, I know) I did manage to narrow it down to eight.  Here they are, in no particular order of importance.

Work on cars.  When I was a kid, I would see my dad, my brother, my uncles and cousins and neighbors covered in grease, under a car hood ALL. THE. TIME.  When I got a little older, I saw friends and boyfriends doing exactly the same thing.  At 17, I had changed my own oil, changed a tire, and had a basic understanding of what was happening every time I cranked my engine.  But then I kind of forgot, along with the rest of the world.  Part of it probably has to do with how much more complicated cars have become.  They're really more computer-oriented than mechanical these days.  Another reason is probably that it's just easier than it used to be to have some 15 minute oil change place do it for you for $29.99 than it is to spend the time to do it yourself.  Whatever the reasons, I certainly don't see many people in my neighborhood under the hoods of their cars on the weekend doing basic maintenance.

Use things made of paper.  Paper maps are outdated before they're even printed.  Actually, they're seldom even printed any more.  The same is true of phone books.  Encyclopedias?  My kids don't even know what those are.  When I was a kid my mom bought me a fabulous set of encyclopedias and I read from it nearly every day (GEEK ALERT!) until I had read them all the way through.  Those things just don't really exist any more, since the dawn of the internet and computers and constant online updates made them obsolete. 

Write in cursive.  I remember being in third grade and wanting SO BADLY for my handwriting sample to be chosen as the best in my class so it could be entered in the competition at the county fair.  Alas, my dream was never realized, but still, I could write in cursive.  It's not even part of the Kentucky school curriculum any more.  Not long ago I tried to teach Zachary to sign his name, thinking that was a fairly important skill but after several poorly constructed attempts I gave up.  He can just make an "X" or something.  Even my once-neat handwriting has devolved into some weird mish-mash of some cursive, some printing, and some totally made up looking letters that I like to think of as my own personal font.

Spell.  4COL I 4got if U R cmg 2day or 2mrow.  Sadly, this makes perfect sense to me (and probably to you).  I'm one of the last holdouts who insists on typing out every single word that I text, much to the dismay of several of the people on my contact list.  I will absolutely insist that the boys learn the proper way to spell, too, before I allow their spelling to degenerate to the current socially acceptable level.  I will admit, though, that spell check has pretty much ruined me, too.  I just give unfamiliar words a couple tries before I give up, highlight it and right click.  

Do math in your head.  Long ago I could do addition, subtraction, multiplication and division in my head.  Like, with big numbers.  Now, not so much.  I have a calculator on my phone, one on my computer, and I really just don't try that hard any more to work it out before taking the easy route.  Remember in the Little House on the Prairie books where Laura has to do long division in her head and out loud?  There's no way I could do that.  No way at all.

Keep private things private.  I'm going to blame social media.  I mean, I NEED to blame something because it's bad.  Really, really bad.  I'm not saying it's everyone, but I unfollow/block and/or hide people all the time who can't seem to keep the most intimate details of their lives to themselves.  I want to see cute pics of your kids, what blog posts you're calling out, even what you had for lunch is fine.  But really, there's an invisible line about what should and what should not be public knowledge.  As an intensely private person myself, I sometimes am just dumbstruck by what people choose to share.  I thought about listing some examples, but I can't even go there. 

Memorize phone numbers.  I still remember the number at my childhood home, plus the numbers of several of my friends, the elementary school I went to and the time and temperature number at the local bank.  However, I cannot tell you the phone number of my friends and family that I talk to and text nearly every day now.  Because my phone remembers for me.  That part of my brain is now being used to store even more lyrics from country music songs of the seventies and eighties.

Unplug and just... be.  When I go to Zack's one hour tae kwon do class, I panic if I don't remember to take my nook, my phone AND my iPad, because I might need them.  If I'm sitting down to watch tv, chances are I'm also playing Candy Crush on my phone.  In the 30 minutes or so it has taken me to write this blog post, I have checked email (twice), checked the weather channel, and fallen down the Pinterest rabbit hole when I went to look for a graphic.  Sitting still has always made me twitchy, and now more than ever I have ready entertainment at my fingertips.  I know it's not just me.  I struggle with this every day and if what I'm observing in the world is any indication, it's a pretty widespread thing.

What do you think people have forgotten how to do? 

Vine: My latest social media obsession.

Really it's no secret that I probably ok, ok, DEFINITELY spend too much time online messing with social media.

"But all my friends live there," she whines."

Also, since R and I bit the bullet and got iPhones a few years back - something we both SWORE we didn't want and wouldn't do, by the way - it's POSSIBLE  that MAYBE I spend just a LITTLE too much time with it.

Oh, who the hell am I trying to kid?  My iPhone and I?  We're besties.  We're inseparable.  We're soul mates.  You won't get it away from me until you pry it from my cold, dead hands.  And even then, I'm planning to try to hold on to it so I can take it with me into the afterlife.

Heaven without my iPhone sounds a little too much like the other place, if you know what I mean.

So anyway, I'm now freely admitting to you that I know I have a problem.

"Hi, I'm mj, and I'm addicted to my phone."

"HI MJ!"

You would think that knowing is half the battle, and that I would limit myself, especially when it comes to getting addicted to new, interesting time-suckers.

But no, I'm not strong enough for that.

I first heard about vine on my Instagram feed, where all my bloggy friends were joking that they had crashed this new video app.  Ok, really, most of the people I follow aren't really my friends.  I just kind of stalk them a little bit.  They don't seem to mind, though.  Really.  I've only been blocked by a FEW of them.

Ahem.

I immediately downloaded it.

Because, you know, all the cool kids were doing it.

And I fell in love with it.   BIG SURPRISE!  MJ LOVES TIME-WASTING SOCIAL MEDIA!!!

But for real, it's cool.  It allows you to record video snippets that are a maximum of six seconds each.  You can either record it all at once, or you can start and stop, start and stop, start and stop, as many times as you want for the entire six seconds.

It's SO. MUCH. FUN.

Here's Cooper ready to blast off in his cardboard box rocket ship.

An impromptu storytime led by Zachary.

Some semi-impressive flying side kicks.

And this?  This is proof that my drinking is totally justified.

So yeah.  Now in addition to Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest, I've got yet another time-waster to enjoy.

And I highly recommend it.

Seriously, go download it.

Oh, and don't forget to follow me :) 

A new man in my bedroom.

I do not make any apologies for the fact that I'm a geek.  A nerd.  A dork.  Whatever you want to call it,  I am that, that place where enthusiasm for certain aspects of pop culture meets unabashed joy over an episode of Castle that contains a Firefly reference.   I can intelligently - yes, intelligently - discuss, compare and contrast the Marvel universe and the DC universe, I'm fully versed zombie culture, my favorite shirt has the Stark Industries logo on the front, the new Harry Dresden book has me on pins and needles, and I've never met a Star Trek meme that I didn't love.

Oh, and then there are video games.

I LOVE video games.  I can hold my own on just about every game that R has dragged into the house, but my one true video game love is, and always has been, Mario.

I remember as far back as high school playing Mario into the wee hours of the night, because I just HAD to finish that one level.  Fast forward 20 years, and not a lot has changed.

When R mentioned that he thought we should get a Wii U as a family gift for Christmas I wholeheartedly supported this idea, although I usually automatically protest any spending over, say a buck fifty.  However, in this case I knew that there was a new Mario game available for the Wii U that I would never be able to play if we didn't have this expensive new contraption on which to play it.  And who would save the princess then???  WHO???

So he went out and got it, brought it home and put the box in a kid safe place.

And left it there.

For days.  And days.  And days.

Meanwhile, I walked past it over and over and obsessed about playing it.  Since it was still in the box, and since it was TECHNICALLY not just mine, I left it there.  For a WHOLE WEEK.  I also spent way too much time online reading reviews from people who actually got to open theirs, lucky bastards. Everyone seemed to love it, but one of the common themes I read about was that the initial setup process took several hours.  Most people saw this as a drawback; I saw it as an opening.

One day when R came home from work and I had plied him with liquor to soften him up I casually mentioned "I read that the setup process on the Wii U takes a few hours.  Maybe we should open it before Christmas so we can have it ready for the boys."

"Sounds like a good idea," he replied, then went on about his business.

"It may take DAYS," I continued, since I wasn't getting the immediate response I desired.  "Or possibly even WEEKS."

R sighed just a little, quietly, then got up, got the Wii U and took it upstairs to our bedroom, which is the one place in the house we could conceivably hook it up without little the boys seeing it.  He hooked it all up and started the setup process, which he confirmed would take several hours.

I asked him about a dozen times if it was finished yet, and when it was we decided to give it a test run.  You know, just to make sure it worked.  How disappointed would the boys be on Christmas morning if it didn't work properly?  I was totally willing to take one for the team.

So we fired it up and played.  And played.  And played.  Well into the night, we took turns helping Mario navigate the tricky levels, the flying squirrels, the pits of fire...

The next morning we were both a little bleary-eyed from our late night escapades, but it was totally worth it.  I mean, we HAD to do it.  For the boys Christmas surprise, right?

Later that night after R had come home from work, I approached him.  "Hey, babe," I said, in my most seductive voice, "A little later, after the boys are asleep, do you maybe want to go upstairs to bed early..."  I let my voice trail off.

"You want to play Mario again, don't you?"

Ah, he knows me so well.

Junk mail.

I love getting mail.

There's something really extra exciting about opening the mailbox every day and getting things addressed to ME!  for ME!  about ME!  I get that it's all advertisements because I know nobody really writes REAL letters any more, and I think that even paper Christmas cards are falling by the wayside, which is a darn shame.

Don't misunderstand me here.  I love a good text message, tweet, Facebook post and email as much as the next gal, but there's something really refreshing about walking to the mailbox and pulling out something that's yours to look at.

Except for the darn bills, that is.  Well, those, and the mountains of junk mail and catalogs that make their way into my mailbox daily, diluting the joy I feel when I get real mail, like my Entertainment Weekly magazine or my ThinkGeek catalog.

Then not long ago, I had a really happy accident.

We were going to be out of town for a few days and I was debating whether or not to stop mail delivery while we were gone. I knew I could do that online at the USPS site, but because I was sitting two whole rooms away from my computer, I decided to see if there was an app I could download to my iPhone.  This is laziness at it's best, people.

So anyway, without bothering to read the description, I downloaded an app called "MailStop."

When I actually opened the app, I realized it wasn't exactly what I initially thought it might be. 

Instead, it was an app that allowed you to take a picture of the label from your junk mail, submit it, and TADA! no more junk mail from that particular place.

It's like some sort of sorcery. 

And I love it.

Since my accidental download, I have sent in DOZENS of requests to catalogs like American Girl, which clearly I do not need, and to a plus sized clothing catalog that I have been receiving for years.  I suspect my mother-in-law may have signed me up for that one, but I don't have any proof of that assumption.

Anyway, I know the app works, because a couple days after I snapped a pic of the mailing label from a catalog I used to use for work (way back when I worked) I received a "sorry to see you go" email from them.

See?  

Totally magic.

By the way, this is not a sponsored, coerced or otherwise directed post.

I'm just telling you about it because I think it's really cool, and you maybe should give it a try.

But for now, I'm off to delete myself from some more mailing lists.  

Hmmmmm....  I wonder what would happen if I requested a stop on my utility bills?

The great iPhone crash of 2012

I was late to come aboard the iPhone crazy train.

I used to say things like "I really only need a cell phone for emergencies," or "All I want to do on my cell phone is talk," which is exactly the kind of stuff that is said regularly by Buddhist monks, ninety year olds, and people without a smart phone.

Once I got one, though, I fell totally, utterly and completely in love with it.  It's the same feeling you get  like when you don't really WANT kids, but then you have some, and the little buggers kinda grow on you...  Oh.  Just me?  Well, anyway, iPhone and I fell truly, madly, deeply in love, and have stayed that way for two years.

But just like with my kids, I always want the best for my iPhone, so when iOS 6 (an update to the iPhone software) was released last week, I downloaded it as soon as humanly possible then proceeded to install it.

Except... it didn't work.

I started getting error messages about being unable to complete the task, recovery mode, syncing to an earlier backup, etc. etc. etc., but all I saw, really, was this:

And all I knew was that my phone was not powering on AT ALL, and I went into full blown panic mode.

I did some praying, partook in some magic mumbo-jumbo, burned some sage to exorcise the iPhone demons,  made promises to the late great Steve Jobs about how I'd get rid of my Nexus tablet RIGHT AWAY, performed some heroic iLife saving measures, and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And finally, my beloved phone sprang back to life.

As I picked it up and began lovingly petting it, I realized that it was... off somehow.  Not quite right...

A little more investigating led me to discover that it had restored itself to a March 16 backup.

So, yeah, now my iPhone has amnesia and thinks it's still March.

I wailed around for a while to no avail, then decided there wasn't anything I could do about it so I should just get on with my day.

Oh, except my to-do list?  From March.  I'm pretty sure I had already done all those things.

Well, I guess I could start some prep work for dinner... oh wait.  My menu plan? You guessed it.  From March.

I wasn't even sure where I was supposed to be or what I was supposed to be doing, because my calendar?  Also March.

Also missing were my grocery list and my Christmas shopping list, so I couldn't even go have a little retail therapy to ease my tortured soul.

Oh, I guess I could go write a blog post, but all the pictures I took for those posts?  If it ain't in March, it ain't there.

In the grand scheme of life, this would definitely qualify as a first world problem of the highest order.

But still...  "It's my iPhone," she whines...

So here I sit, wondering if I should begin the slow process of rebuilding my iLife or if this is just some sort of sign that I have become too dependent on my phone.

And probably, the answer is both.

Chore tracking, techie style.

When we were approaching the end of the school year last year, I knew that I wanted to put a formal chore chart into place for zj over the summer.

He's always been expected to pick up his toys and keep his room neat and such, but I really wanted to take it up a notch because I didn't want to spend the entire summer picking up his crap.

I looked to Pinterest for some easy DIY chore chart ideas, but then as I was measuring and planning dimensions and deciding on materials I thought "Hey, there should be an app for this."

And guess what?  There was.

I looked at several iPad apps before I decided on ChorePad.  I liked this one and even though I had NEVER paid $4.99 for an app before, I bit the bullet and went for it.  Actually, I don't believe I had ever even paid for an app before.  I lean toward free.  Always.

Screen shot of the home screen.  You can add multiple
users, which will come in handy when I add cj,which I'm planning
to do when zj goes back to school in a few weeks. 

I liked that it was easy to use, to customize, and to update.  

Screen shot of the chart.  It was a rough chore week, as you can see, and clearly
we need to work on our flushing skills.  Clearly. 
  

Here's how it works.  You create a chart for your kid, then assign him or her specific chores.  The chores can be for every day of the week or only for specific days.  Then, each chore is assigned a star value.  For example, in our house, checking the mail is worth one star and dusting a room is worth two stars.  

Then... and here's the fun part, you can assign rewards, or payouts, that the kid can spend his stars on.  You get to choose how many stars each reward will cost.   Our rewards are things like staying up one hour past bedtime, or a prize from our prize box, or a trip to the Dollar Tree with $5 to spend.  However, since zj is a tightwad of the most insane kind, he has yet to actually SPEND any stars, preferring to collect them and count them and talk about how many he has.  I can only assume he's saving up for the Rolex, or maybe the trip to Tahiti.  Scrooge McDuck, anyone?

Zj has really done well with it, but like any reward-based program, it's only really effective if you keep up with it and talk about it all the freakin' time.  "Zj, thanks for getting the mail!  That's one star!  Hey, great job picking up the toys before dinner!  You just got a star!" and so on and forever.

My biggest accomplishment this summer has been teaching him to do his own laundry.  I say, "Hey, it's laundry day!" and he can bring it downstairs to the laundry room, put it in the washer, measure the detergent, turn it on, move it to the dryer and then take it upstairs and put it away.  WITHOUT HELP.  Yes, he's six, but I decided that if he has the attention span to attain extremely high levels on Lego Batman and the manual and physical dexterity to climb the highest equipment on the playground that surely he could handle a load of laundry.  And guess what?  I was right.

I think I may be in the parental minority when I say that I think it's important for kids to participate in running the household.  Would it be easier to do it myself?  Most likely.  Is it done the way I would do it?  Definitely not.  But my feeling is that kids need to know about what it takes to make house, and therefore a family, run smoothly.  There is no underwear fairy who deposits clean underwear in your drawer while you sleep, contrary to popular belief.  

So yeah, I'm going to call project ChorePad a success.  

Now if I could just teach them to mix me a good Bloody Mary.  They never use enough Tabasco.

Note:  This is not a sponsored post.  The ChorePad people, wonderful though they might be, have never heard of me.  However, if they stumble across this post and want to reimburse my $4.99, I would not be opposed.  I'm still a little bitter about that part.

Things that broke this week.

1.  My car.

2.  My MacBook.

3.  My iPhone.  No picture available because, ya know, I use it to take pictures.

4.  My kid's eye.

5.  My spirit.

Investments.

When RJ and I first got married, we were poor.

Dirt poor.

Like, I worked at Wendy's 25 hours a week, we lived over a grocery store and stole our cable, we shared our one and only toothbrush, we only had one car, and we mostly ate the $5 pizzas you could find on special around campus poor.

Ok, I made up that toothbrush part.  But still, damn poor.

Luckily for us, RJ's mom's family came through with wedding gifts in the form of cash.

It may have been a total of $3000 or so, which seems like a lot now, but then, we were pretty sure we were rich.  Seriously, that would have covered all our living expenses for at least six months.

Being young and incredibly stupid somewhat fiscally irresponsible, we spent that money in our heads a million times.   We finally narrowed it down to two options.  We were either going to buy some cheap-ass inexpensive pressed wood bookcases, or we were going to use some of the money to invest in a small start-up company that we both had an interest in... called Amazon.

See, I loved books, and RJ was a technology geek, and this was going to be a revolutionary meeting of both our passions.

I remember we had enough to buy around 100 shares.

Guess which one we decided on?

Yeah, since I'm not blogging from my summer home in the Hamptons or wherever, you guessed right if you said: Cheap-ass bookcases.

They lasted through one move, then fell to pieces and had to be broken apart with a hammer and shoved into about a million trash bags so the garbage company would haul them away without charging us an "oversized item" fee.

I started to do the math one time to figure out how much our little 100 shares of stock would have been worth today if we had purchased them then, and somewhere around a quarter million dollars, I stabbed myself in the eye and drank a pint of gin straight out of the freezer.

Whatever.

Being independently wealthy has lots of pitfalls, too, I guess.  Like, ya know, the maid is always in your way when you're trying to lounge around, and sometimes the cook forgets that you prefer your  eggs scrambled instead of fried and you have to send them back.  Sigh.

Anyway, there have been a ton of things over the years that I probably should have invested in but did not.  Like AA batteries.  Pretty much every toy in this house requires somewhere between four and six AA batteries.  And since my kids leave every toy in the house in the "on" position most of the time,  I have to replace the batteries in every toy every time someone wants to play with it.

"Mama!  Can you put batteries in this?"

Seriously, kid?  Go make a mud pie or something.

Mama's just going to be online spending her imaginary money.  Again.

Individual Breakfast Casseroles. For the good of America.

I read an article today that was about the new dietary guidelines issues by the government.  Apparently, this happens every five years.  Who knew.  For the first time ever, we as Americans are being urged to eat less and to eat better stuff.

Brilliant, no?

But as is the norm for me, I am already two weeks ahead of the curve.

For a lot or reasons (ok, the main reason is my big fat a$$) the J family has embarked on a healthier lifestyle, which includes regular exercise for all of us, and GASP! a healthier diet.

Not DIETING, mind you.  I'm not really interested in in doing anything drastic like that.  I mean, I like lettuce topped with a little more lettuce and an almond just as much as the next girl, but I'm not really interested in eating like that every meal, every day, until I reach some magical number on the scale and then begin to immediately gorge myself on Ho-Hos and french fries again.  Rinse and repeat.  Not really my thing.  See, I like to eat, and I don't like to be hungry, so that doesn't really work for me so much.

What I'm doing instead is trying to make better food choices for me, and therefore for my whole family. And since I do most of the grocery shopping and all of the cooking, I guess this is one responsibility that falls squarely on my big fat a$$.

Good news - I love to cook, and I'm always up for a challenge, so now I'm working on creating recipes that are a)filling b)good and c)healthier than, say, a Twinkie.

Here's one I came up with this morning, after a three mile run and 45 minutes of strength training, when my body was screaming "FEED ME SOMETHING NOW WOMAN!  COLD CEREAL AND A BANANA AIN'T GONNA CUT IT TODAY!"

WHAT YOU NEED:
a muffin pan
Pam cooking spray - I used butter flavor
3 cups Simply Potatoes Hashbrowns.  Or grate up a potato or two yourself - I was HONGRY and lacked patience.  But stay away from the frozen kind.  They have all kinds of not good for you stuff in 'em.
1 1/2 cups diced veggies of your choice.  I used a frozen onion and pepper blend and some mushrooms.  Broccoli, asparagus, carrots and celery would all be great, too.
2 eggs
1 cup egg whites.  I started buying this in a carton in the dairy department of the grocery store.  It's a little on the pricey side, but it lasts forever.
3 slices low fat/low calorie cheese.  Swiss was what I had, so Swiss was what I used.
a generous splash - maybe 1/4 of a cup - of skim milk
parsley, salt and pepper


WHAT YOU DO:
Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.  Spray Pam into all the muffin pan, then put 1/4 cup potatoes in the bottom of each spot.  Bake for 10 minutes then remove from the oven and top each one with some of the vegetable mixture, distributing it equally over the 12 muffin tins.  In a small bowl, mix the eggs, egg whites, salt, pepper, parsley and milk until blended, then pour about 2-3 tablespoons of the mixture on the top of each casserole.  You don't need a lot - think of it as the glue.

Bake it for approximately 20 minutes, until the eggs are set.  then cut the three pieces of cheese into 4 equal pieces each, and top each casserole with 1/4 of a slice.  Pop it back into the oven for a couple minutes until the cheese is melted.

I plugged all the ingredients into an app on my iPhone, told it how many servings it made (12) and it spit the calories back out at me - 82 calories per individual casserole.  Add a toasted English Muffin or a piece of fruit, and you can have a yummy breakfast for under 200 calories.  It's hard to beat that.  Also, you can make these ahead and store them in the fridge.  When you're ready to eat,  just microwave them for a minute.

Join me next time when I cure cancer and find a workable solution for world peace.

Or maybe I'll just write another post about my feet.

Twitter - it's not just for stalking celebrities, you know.

Less than a year ago, I wrote a post about how I was not smart enough to use Twitter.

Oh, what a difference six months in a house with no job and two boys under the age of four makes.

So, I started out by following some of my favorite bloggers and famous people and I'm not the least bit bitter about the fact that Nathan Fillion never ressponds to my numerous tweets.  Even though I know he must see my 300 tweets every day.  Every. Single. Day. He WILL notice me eventually.  HE WILL.

I'm certainly not a Twitter expert, ya know, like our President - Really? Our President tweets?  I'll bet our founding fathers never could have predicted THAT - but I'm learning every day.

And in the spirit of making my gadget addiction screen time productive, I've found some great peeps to follow who help me save money. 

Although sometimes they help me spend money, like the other day when I had absolutely no plans to purchase any clothes for myself any time in the next three years and then I saw a tweet from Family Friendly Frugality that included a link to a coupon from Old Navy.  The coupon was good for an extra 25% off clearance items, plus free shipping on orders over $50.  So...  I ordered 13 things.  All for me.  But, the great news, the total for my order was just a little over $65.  Now that's a good deal.

Family Friendly Frugality is by far my favorite money-saving twitterer? tweeter? to follow, and often links to things like free fries or $5 off your total purchase at Family Dollar.   Go forth and follow her.  Do it now.  You will thank me.  No really, go ahead and thank me.

You're welcome.

Some of my other favorites, in no particular order, are:

Freebies4Mom focuses on stuff that is, well, free.  Who doesn't love free samples coming in the mail in their cute little individual sized bottles?  Also, she often links to great posts like this one about how to handle it if your coupons are rejected.  Good stuff.

DealSeekingMom is another great all-around gal to follow.  She features everything from printable coupons to online deals to free samples.

MoneySavingMom managed to save enough money to pay cash for her family's house.  I'd follow her just on principle alone.  Also, for the coupons she posts.

Also, don't forget to follow your favorite restaurants, retailers and brands.  Many post "Twitter only" deals and coupons regularly.  For instance, I follow my local credit union, and a few months ago, they ran a Twitter contest for money saving tips.  I sent one in, and won a $100 Visa gift card.  I also follow nookBN in order to find out about the free e-book title that is available for download every Friday.  

See?

Twitter is totally NOT a waste of hours of your life.  It's a necessity.

My upcoming fifth and final post in this series will explain all the reasons why buying an iPhone is a money-saving venture.  Trust me on this.   I've been brainwashed by the Apple corporation.  I know what I'm talking about here.  

Prices slashed! Everything on sale!

There are a blue million great coupon and money saving blogs.

This is not one of them.  I have never aspired to that, and I'm not about to start now.

However, I do love a good bargain.  More than most.  But I'm kinda inconsistent about bargain shopping, and occasionally - ok, more than occasionally - choose convenience over cheap.

I clip coupons, dutifully, every week.  Then usually forget to use them.

I refuse - REFUSE - to be one of the crazies dedicated people who stand in line for 89 hours to save $40 off a flat screen tv.

But I also refuse - REFUSE - to pay shipping for anything I purchase online.

Also, I am a member of every membership rewards loyalty card program in America.

Inconsistent, I know.

Try living in my head for a day...

Anyway, over the past six months, I have re-dedicated myself a bit to the whole money-saving venture, and I treat it like a game.  How cheap can I get a pack of t-shirts?  Can I get something at the grocery - GASP! - free?  It's a challenge, and I'm super competitive, and I like to win.

I know.  Clearly I need more hobbies.

But now, you, faithful readers, get to benefit from what I have learned.  Over the next few weeks, I'm going to share with you ways to save money while shopping that require minimal effort on your part.  Pull up a chair, and let me regale you with my wisdom.  Or at least save you $.40 on juice.  Whatever.

Today's focus is on saving money while grocery shopping.

Here goes:

I do a bit of grocery shopping at Wal-Mart (sad, I know) and Meijer's, but 80% of my groceries come from Kroger.  Why?  Well, it's conveniently located, it's well-stocked, and it's usually not crowded.  Those are my top three grocery store criteria.

I have had a Kroger Plus card for years, and always thought it was a bit of a scam... You know, a way to raise prices then make you THINK you were saving money with your card.  I thought that, until I found out that you can load coupons, directly onto your card, from the Kroger website.

Here's how it works.  Go to www.kroger.com and click on Digital Coupons.  You will be asked to create an account with some basic information and with your Kroger Plus number.  Then, click away!  As you click on the digital coupons, they are automatically added to your Plus card.  When you shop at Kroger and swipe your card, the savings are automatically deducted.

For a lazy couponer like me, this is perfect.  I just go onto the website once a week or so, and add coupons to my card for anything I buy, ever.  Then whenever I shop, the amount gets deducted.

It's like magic.

Also, I found out last time I did this that if you have a digital coupon for something, you can also use a paper coupon on top of that, if you remember to bring it with you.  Which I did, that one time.  And since Kroger doubles coupons up to $.50, you can save a bunch of money if you pay a little bit of attention.  Or not.  I got one of those giant bottles of Tide laundry detergent last week for around $6.00, totally by accident.  I know, I'm really lucky that way...

It gets even better.  If you have an iPhone, Kroger offers an app that is free to download and that lets you do exactly the same thing.  Except you can do it from your iPhone, which is way cooler.  Anyway, you register the app to your Plus card, open the app, click the coupon, and Voila! - you save some money.  This is especially cool because you can do it WHILE walking around doing your shopping.

Also, Cellfire is another great website that lets you load coupons directly to your Kroger card.  I haven't used it as much, but my initial trial has been positive.

Ok, that was easy, huh?  Come back later this week, and I'm going to tell you why you never have to pay shipping costs on anything you buy online.  Ever again.

If you give a girl an iPhone.

If you give a girl an iPhone, she might want to try some new apps.

So, her hubby might jailbreak it for her.

And if her hubby jailbreaks it, she might download 678 apps at a time.

If she downloads 678 apps, her iTunes account might blow up.

No, really, it might Blow. Up.

And if her iTunes account blows up, she might not be able to sync her iPhone.

And if she can't sync her iPhone, she can't listen to music.

And if she can't listen to music, she might get bored and download some more ill-gotten apps.

If she downloads more apps, her iPhone might become almost impossible to navigate through the pages and pages and pages of apps that serve no purpose whatsoever but were FREE become difficult to use.

And it that happens, she might moan and complain incessantly to her hubby that she can't listen to music OR sync her iPhone to the Nike site be sad that her iPhone is difficult to use.

And if she complains to her hubby, he might buy her an iTunes card for Christmas and INSIST she go legit so as to stop the constant whining.

If she gets and iTunes card and deletes the contraband software from her iPhone,

Chances are,

She's probably going to want to download some apps.





With apologies to both author Laura Numeroff and the fine folks at the Apple Corporation, who have nothing to do with the cost of apps, I hear.

On running. And running. And running...

A few months ago I quit my job to be a stay at home Mama, and one of the deals I made with myself was that I would find a way to lose some weight, get in better shape, and deal with the constant lack of energy that had been plaguing me for the better part of the past 36 years or so.

Enter running.

Running and I got off to a bit of a rocky start.

After I healed, I attacked it again.

I even made some grand internet promises that at least two people heard about.

I've gotten all the cool running gadgets and gear.  I love me some Nike, and the Nike + iPhone ap and sensor are too cool for words.  If you ever plan to run, or jog, or even walk really fast, you HAVE to have one of these.

I've been through four pairs of running shoes before finding some that fit my fat, gnarled feet.  Thank goodness for Road Runner Sports' very generous exchange policy.

I've been walking shuffling jogging running for going on four months now.

But today, for the very first time, I actually felt like a runner.

I set a goal.

I beat it.

I felt the burn.

I pushed through it.

My muscles are still protesting.

It's a really great feeling.

Now don't get me wrong.  I realize I'm nowhere near fast.

My stamina still needs a LOT of work.

I have a lot more work to do.

But it's ok.

I'm a runner.

And runners can push through anything.

My internet went out for about a minute. It was like the freaking Dark Ages.

So...  It's Friday night.  


Friday night is a night that I can usually count on RJ to go out,  either to play poker or for drinks with the guys after work.  So typically I put the kids to bed at 5:30 and plan an evening of drinking, enjoyment and relaxation for myself.  Typically.  

On this particular Friday night, I had my Sonic Cherry Limeade mixed with rum, my kids in bed by seven, and my night planned.

As I was eating my dinner (Triscuits, cheddar cheese and pepperoni, if you must know) the electricity blinked.  Just for a second.  It came right back on, so I though very little of it.  

I moved on to phase two of my relaxing evening.  I had my fruity rum drink, my trusted Nook, my Ipad, my MacBook, and I was set for an evening of relaxation.


I sat down in front of the computer, opened Facebook, and... nothing.  Nada.  Zip.  Zilch.


I refreshed.  Silly little computer.  Why would you want to play games with me?  I have some drunk Facebooking to do, and some tweeting, and some Ebaying and some blogging.  I am a very busy girl, and I have things to do.  Surely you are just being silly.


Still nothing.  Then I get a message on the screen.  "Your computer is not connected to the internet.  Check your internet connection and try this page again."


What?


Not. Cool.  


We have wi-fi in our house, but I'm currently plugged into this cool little blue cord that makes my MacBook faster than the speed of light.


I unplugged it.  I plugged it back in.


Nothin'.


I set it to wi-fi.


Still nothin'.


It was ok.  I didn't panic.  I still have my Ipad.  It was ok.


Ipad. No. Internet.


Oh dear, this is freakin' bad.  BAD.


I fired off a quick text to RJ.  "Um, hon, the electricity blinked and none of my gadgets work.  Any thoughts?"


I waited for at least four minutes for a really long time with no response.  Hmm.  He must be really busy.  


Text number two: "There is no internet here.  I either need you to answer my message and TELL ME HOW TO FIX IT OR GET YOUR A$$ HOME. NOW. Please?"  My Mama always said you can catch more flies with honey, you know...


Still no response.  


After gulping most of my rum drink taking a moment to compose myself, I decided that surely I could figure out something interesting to do without the internet.  I pulled out my Nook, and decided to read a bit.  But...  I needed a new book and it's kinda hard to search on that itty-bitty screen and I'll just jump on my computer to find a new one... Oh wait.  I drank some more rum.


Ok, well, I have a fun new puzzle game app on my Ipad.  I can just play that for a while, right?  Gosh, I'm so resilient, so smart, so adaptable.  I can live without the internet...  Ipad out, app pulled up, and I get this message "You must be connected to the internet to play this game.  Please check your internet connection now."  Rum drink refill time.


ARRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Third text messageto RJ: "I'm moving.  I hear many hotels have free internet.  It's like the Dark Ages here.  I cannot thrive under these circumstances.  Goodbye."


Within a few minutes, I get a response from RJ with some very complicated, very complex, very hard to follow directions to unplug the wi-fi thingy and plug it back it.  I took a deep breath, drank some more rum, and tried to work my way through all the complicated steps in the process. 


After I was finished, I walked back over the the computer, took a swig of rum, and hit reload.


Facebook - success!


I checked the Ipad.  Internet connection good.


And then I passed out.


The end.

I'm not smart enough to Twit. Tweet. Twitter. Whatever.

True story.

I got onto the whole social networking scene a little bit late.

I signed up for a Facebook account a couple of years when one of my cool friends - yes I have a cool friend, thank you very much - sort of shamed me into it.

I used it exactly twice, then promptly forgot that I even had an account for about a year, until one day, my much younger, much cooler, much hipper nephew sent me a friend request.

It came to my email address, which I guess I had registered way back when, or I would have never seen it. So I accepted the request - it would have been rude not to - and for the next six months, I had exactly two friends, and I was happy.

Then my friend Natalie found me, and somehow through it all, I found out that Facebook had... games.  You know, word games.  For nerds like me.  It was heaven.

I acquired a few more friends along the way, totally by accident.  Natalie gave me a hard time on a regular basis, posting things on my wall like "I heard a crazy rumor that some people use Facebook for social networking."  Whatever.  I had the new high score in Word Twist.

I finally got the hang of it, though.  It was fun, in a sort of stalkerish way to "catch up" with people from high school and college, former employees and coworkers, and a strange smattering or distant relations.

I'm a pretty smart girl, so I thought I might give Twitter a try, too.

Bad call.

I absolutely cannot do it.

It's too hard.

It's not the site, or the technology, or anything like that.  It's just that I can't ever remember to run to the computer every time I eat a banana, watch a tv show, take a nap, or get caught at a stoplight so that I can tweet my current situation.  'Cause that seems to be what it is all about -  a minute by minute account of everyone's life.

And I keep forgetting to update.

And since I have a crazy obsessive disorder that makes me do everything exactly perfectly every time, or not at all, I have given up.

And even though nine year olds the world over have mastered it, I am not smart enough to Tweet.

And I'm not even going to try any more.

I love me some nook. This is not a dirty post.

I work for a major chain bookstore.  Pretty much the only thing I know how to do in this life is to sell books to people, whether they want them or not.

They usually want them, by the way, they just don't know it yet.

Anyway, back in the fall, my boss-type peeps at the bookstore made a major announcement - we were joining the e-reader race, right in time for Christmas.

I ordered one right away.

I justified the $259 by saying that it was a joint Christmas present for both RJ and me, but I was totally planning to make it mine, all mine.

Mainly, I wanted one so I could figure out how to use it and how to teach my customers to use it, too.

I wasn't totally sold on all the possibilities of using an electronic thingy to do all my reading on.

It seemed wrong.

It seemed too futuristic.

I'm a traditionalist.

Nothing can replace BOOKS, right?

After about 5 minutes with the thing, I was hooked.

Hooked on nook.  Ha ha.

God, I'm funny.

Anyway, back to my nook.  The thing that I love about it is how very portable it is.  I know books are portable, too, but you can tote THOUSANDS of books on this one thing.

I always get panic-y when I'm almost done with a book and I don't have anything new lined up.  That does not happen with my nook.  It doesn't matter where I am, I can always get something new to read in about a minute.

It's really handy, because before, if I was somewhere near the end of a book and I was going to go somewhere, like to an appointment, or somewhere that I might have to sit in the car for some period if time, I would have to take TWO books, just in case I finished one.  But I only need one nook.

Pretty cool.

Oh, and it's easy to use.  Even for the technologically challenged, like me.

You should go out and buy one today.

Cause it's cool.