Getting crafty.

I blame Pinterest.

I've been on a sewing and crafting kick that shows no signs of stopping.

I keep hearing how all these people have no time to DO any of the things they see on Pinterest because they're too busy pinning, but I seem to have the opposite problem.  I don't have time to pin or blog or clean my house or do laundry because I'm too busy crafting.

See?

I've been making pretty photo canvases:

And adorable cup sleeves:

Some amazing iPhone cases:

Booky shoes:

Ruffled tote bags that are to die for:

And I've even tried my hand at some nerdy book lover jewelry:

Oh, and don't forget the velvet bookmarks:

 Fair warning:  If you are a person who normally gets gifts from me, you WILL be getting some of these things for Christmas.  And since it's still January, remember I have 11 more months to continue the crafting madness.

Scary, isn't it?

Dr. Google

Today, I'm sick, and Google is my doctor of choice.

The last time I went to a doctor (except of the obstretical variety) on my own accord was when I was in high school.  Even then, I was coerced.  I had a weird rash, and my Mama told me if I didn't go see the doctor about it I couldn't go out that night.  So I went.  Of course.  I walked in, sat down, and the doctor came in and said "What seems to be the problem?"  I said "I have a rash." He asked, "Does it itch?"  Nope.  "Does it hurt?"  It didn't.  Then he said, "Hmmm.  It looks like a rash.  Come back if it starts to itch or hurt.  Please pay the nurse on the way out."  I said "I told you it was a rash when I came in.  Maybe you should pay me."  I was a bit of a smarty pants in my younger days.  Anyway, I decided right then and there that unless I was near death, doctors just weren't for me.

However, I'm not a total lunatic.  I do monitor my health (where by monitor I mean I often Google random symptoms and then determine I have a variety of deadly diseases and will probably die right NOW oh my gosh I'm still upright and how can I be typing this if I'm dead already?!?!?) and my boys go to the doctor regularly.  They go to all their checkups and such, and occasionally I even take them in when they are sick or injured.

But that's where it gets tricky.

See, I'm definitely not the type to run my kids into the doctor at the slightest sniffle or bump.  Imagine that.  However, there are certain situations that may warrant a visit, like the time zj's "little cold" wouldn't clear up and he was admitted to the hospital for pneumonia, or the time he jumped off the tallest thing at the play area in the mall and his twisted ankle turned out to be a broken leg.  Which, by the way, he walked around on ALL day.  High pain tolerance much?

But those are extreme circumstances, certainly.

Mostly, I just have a hard time deciding if this cold is the one we need to have treated, or if it will pass in a day or two anyway.  And then there are the injuries, you know, the inevitable ones that come from having two rambunctious boys running around the house.

So I turn to my trusted Dr. Google to help me decide.

"Toddler sprayed Windex in eyes" got me scared enough to actually call the doctor's office, especially after I read the judgey McJudgerson lady who posted comments on a thread about the topic like "How could you DARE leave DANGEROUS chemicals where your CHILD could REACH THEM?  You are a worthless excuse for a PARENT!" Uh, I was washing a mirror and then I had to pee?  Also, who's watching your kids while you're on the internet judging me, lady?  Anyway, good news, while not totally harmless, a little water flushes that stuff right out, no permanent harm done.

"How big facial wound needs stitches 5 year old?" had me measuring an open, bleeding wound with a ruler before I decided I would just suck it up and take him to the Urgent Care.  Good thing, too.  It probably minimized the permanent scar's size by half:

I expect at some point in his life he will love this scar, because eyebrow scars are kinda mysterious and tough-guy and stuff, right?  Right?

"Toddler bit through tongue lots of blood" warranted another call to the pediatrician's office, because I was getting conflicting information from Google.  But according to the nurse I spoke with, as long as it wasn't hanging on by a thread or bitten completely off (which it wasn't), tongues are tricky things to fix and heal quickly on their own, and oh by the way, lay off anything spicy or salty for him for the next few days.  Easy enough, since cj mostly eats things in the "orange" food group at the moment, like macaroni and cheese.

At this point, the fact that I've searched for a blue million injuries and ailments online, combined with the fact that I've seen every single episode of ER (some of them twice!) makes me completely and utterly able to diagnose, and in most cases, treat anything that comes up at my house.

So as I sit here, head pounding every single time my heart beats so I'm willing it not to beat (oh wait.  That may fall into the "incompatible with life" category, huh?) and with green slime running out my nose, my self-diagnosis is clear.  I either have a sinus infection, or there are aliens eating my brain.

I'm betting on the aliens.

Is there a pill for that?

Sorta like Olive Garden's Pasta e Fagioli

However it's pronounced, I really like it.

RJ and I both love the Pasta e Fagioli at Olive Garden.  But, since the closest Olive Garden is an hour away, and since a bowl of the stuff (a bowl.  ONE BOWL) costs $6, I decided to figure out how to make it myself.

The first problem I ran into was that I couldn't figure out how to spell it, so I couldn't Google it.  Stupid extra vowels.

Anyway, I finally figured it out, found a few recipes, picked out the ingredients I liked from each one, and came up with this.

It's mighty tasty.

WHAT YOU NEED:

1 lb. ground beef
1 medium onion, diced
2 carrots, julienned (ok, I'm not gonna lie.  I just grated them up with a box grater, thank you very much)
3 stalks celery, diced
3 cloves of garlic, minced
2 (14 oz) cans of tomatoes.  I had one can of petite diced and one can of crushed, and that worked fine.
1 can of red kidney beans.  Don't drain or rinse them.
1 can of great Northern beans.  Ditto on the rinsing/draining bit.
2 cans (12 oz) tomato juice or V-8.  I used one of each.
4 cans of water.  Just fill the cans that the beans and tomatoes come in and use that.  That way you get all the good out of the bottom of the can.
A couple shakes of Tabasco sauce.  I used about a tablespoon and a half.  Feel free to scale that back if you don't like stuff spicy.
One teaspoon of sugar.  My Mama taught me that any time you use canned tomatoes, you should put a little sugar in.  So there.
1 tablespoon Italian seasoning
salt and pepper to taste
1/4 lb. ditali pasta.  Or use macaroni.  I won't judge you.  Much.

WHAT YOU DO:

In a big stockpot or dutch oven, brown the ground beef.  Drain off any extra fat, then add the onion, garlic, carrot and celery back in with the beef and cook gently until the onions are translucent.  Dump everything else except the pasta in.  Stir it up, bring it to a boil, then reduce the heat to low and cover it.  This is definitely one of those soups that gets better the longer it cooks, so I usually cook it on low for at least 2-3 hours.

A half hour before serving it, remove the lid, crank up the heat to medium, and toss the pasta in.

It's seriously good, and fairly healthy.

It's hard to beat that.

Happy birthday to me!

Me on my second birthday, rocking some polka dots and a scary clown bottle.  The cuteness knows no bounds.  

Today is my 38th birthday.

That's pretty damn close to 40.

But since 40 is the new 30, and 30 is the new 20, and I wouldn't, for any reason, want to go back into my teens, lets just call it 25ish and be done with it, ok?

Ahem.  Moving on.

So anyway, today, for no particular reason other than I want to, and it's my blog so I do what I want, I thought I would share 38 random tidbits about me.

Fascinating stuff, this is.

You're welcome.

1. I have kept the same houseplant alive for more than 15 years.  I believe that this has made me unequivocally prepared for motherhood, where my main goal is to get them to adulthood alive and mostly intact.
2. I hate seafood.  Hate. It.  Sometimes I lie and say I am allergic to it in order to fend off the people who say "But you can't really taste the fishy/crabby/shrimpy/nasty in it."  I can taste it.  Trust me.
3. I still have all the bits I came into the world with - tonsils, gall bladder, both wisdom teeth.  Yes, I said both.
4. For the entirety of my childhood, I planned to be a psychologist when I grew up.  I became a bookstore manager instead, which is pretty much the same thing.
5. I'm a recovering nail biter, with many, many, many falls from the wagon.  Is there a 12 step program for that?
6. My hair is probably 80-90% gray.  It's genetic I think.  Other than some occasional root issues, you will NOT see what that looks like for at least 20 more years.  Hair dye is miraculous.
7. I hate to write with pens.  Pencils are preferred.  Mechanical pencils are best.  .9 lead size is divine.
8. I used to collect frogs - glass frogs, plastic frogs, ceramic frogs, metal frogs... Then RJ got me a real frog as a gift one year, and I managed to kill it within a month.  I haven't felt quite the same about them since then.
9. There are two songs that make me cry every single time I hear them - Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain by Willie Nelson, and He Stopped Loving Her Today by George Jones.  Yep, I'm a flaming redneck.  Deal with it.
10. I learned to read when I was four, and haven't stopped since.  I remember most of the first book I ever read out loud: "I see a bee!  Yes, a bee!  What do you see?"
11. There are many, many, many books I love, but if I had to pick one favorite it would be To Kill a Mockingbird.  Atticus Finch is my hero.
12. I'm going to run a marathon this year.  There.  I said it out loud.  No backing out now.
13. I love to cook and I love to feed people.  It makes me happier than just about anything when people enjoy what I've cooked for them.  I think I came by that trait honestly.
14. I'm a terrible procrastinator.  Luckily, I also DESPISE being late for anything, so it usually all works out.
15. I graduated second in my high school class.  It was the first and last time on record that there was no Salutatorian speech.  Nobody even bothered to ask me, because everyone knew I wouldn't do it.  Public speaking is so not my thing.
16. I'm a food hoarder.  There is probably enough food in my house to feed my family for six three months.  Don't judge.  When the zombie apocalypse comes and you run out of food on day 4 you will be totally jealous.
17. I drive my dream car.  I have wanted a '66 Mustang convertible since I was a little girl, and now, thanks to RJ, I have one.  And it's as wonderful as I thought it would be.
18. I don't want a dishwasher and have absolutely no desire for one.  I think dishes washed in a dishwasher smell funny and I don't like to eat off them.
19. I consider myself to be handy, crafty and fairly intelligent.  I can operate power tools with ease.  I cannot, however, operate my tv, dvd player or video game systems most of the time.  I often text pictures of all four of our remotes to RJ and say "I wanna watch a movie.  Which buttons do I push?"
20. My friend Natalie got me hooked on Fiestaware years ago, and now I have quite a collection.  Looking at all the different colored plates and bowls and cups in my cabinet makes me insanely happy, and I can't imagine eating off boring, matching dishes ever again.
21. My earliest memory was when I was not quite two, and my family was watching wrestling on not one, but two tvs - one black and white and one - GASP! - in color.  Our family had just gotten our first color tv and we were apparently comparing the pictures.  Redneck much? See number 9.
22. My two celebrity crushes are Nathan Fillion and Noah Wyle.  I stalk keep up with them online and watch everything they are in, even the really, really bad stuff.
23. I once won $1000 on a scratch off lottery ticket.  The problem was, I wasn't old enough to cash it in and my sister had to do it for me.  She let me have the money, though.
24. I'm the funniest person I know.  I often randomly laugh out loud at something that is funny in my head.  Or maybe I'm just crazy.  Either way, it sure is fun up in here.
25. Red is my favorite color.  Most of the things in my house are red - my couches, my small appliances, my car... I sincerely hope this never changes, because all that red crap would be a BEAR to replace.
26. I have always wanted to learn how to knit and/or crochet, but I am incapable of it.  I have tried MANY times, and the closest I ever got was one really, really long crocheted string.  Not much I could do with that, I'm afraid.
27. Heights, snakes and lizards all make me uncomfortable.  Not AFRAID, exactly, just AVOIDABLE AT ALL COSTS.
28. I use exactly the same password for everything, so if anybody ever figures it out, I'm pretty well screwed.
29. I make better potato salad than anyone in the world.  This is a proven fact.  However, I am the only person in my ENTIRE family who likes potato salad, so I almost never make it.  My talents are so wasted.
30. I played basketball for four years in elementary school.  I wasn't very good, but if I didn't play, there wouldn't have been enough people for a team.  It's ok, nobody else was all that good either.
31. The first time I flew on an airplane was after I was a married adult.  I didn't like it very much.  I still don't.
32. One of my feet is larger than the other.  By quite a bit.  This makes buying shoes - especially running shoes - kind of a challenge.  Oh, and my toes are slightly webbed.  Consider that little tidbit a bonus.
33. Spring is my favorite season, followed by summer, then winter.  I know there are a lot of fall fans out there, but I dislike it.  Stupid leaves everywhere.
34. I've personally owned six cars in my lifetime.  Three of them have been Mustangs, but the one I drove the longest was a truck.  Doncha just love a girl in a truck?
35. I have zero interest in watching sports.  When people talk about their favorite basketball, football and baseball teams, my eyes glaze over and a little drool escapes from the corner of my mouth.  I had a really good time at a baseball game one time, but that may have just been the free beer.
36. At one time, I had four cats.  Then I started having kids, and something had to go.  Now I am seriously, totally and altogether against ever having anything with fur in my house ever again.  We'll see how long I can hold out...
37. Someday I would like to go back to school.  I have no clue what I would study, but I miss school.  It's the one thing I've done in my life that I think I was really, really good at.  Maybe I'll be a professional student someday.
38. This post took me four days to write, and was really hard to do.  I guess I'm not as interesting as I thought.  If you are still reading at this point, you should be commended.  Or maybe committed.

Anyway, that's it.  Happy birthday to me!

Who knew? Orange Sherbet

Did you know that if you dump two cans of orange soda and one can of sweetened condensed milk in your ice cream freezer and turn it on that what comes out tastes pretty much just exactly almost nearly like orange sherbet?

Uh huh, it's true.

Project potty.

This week I have started to potty train cj.

He is two and a half, and was exhibiting all the signs of readiness, like pretty much insisting on going to the potty himself.

But I kept putting it off.  Mainly because potty training zj ranks in my top 5 worst experiences ever, right up there with major abdominal surgery, going to the gynecologist, and "drop-by" visits from my in-laws.

See, way back then, zj seemed ready, too.  Well, until I actually ASKED him to do it.  Then all bets were off.  There was much yelling, screaming, and crying, and he didn't like it much, either.

More than A FULL YEAR after I started potty training zj, I could call done.  Mostly.  Well, good enough.

I assumed that potty training cj would be a similar experience.  I would have seriously put it off even longer - I mean really, it's not like we actually GO anywhere, and we have three whole years before he starts school, but people were starting to ask me when it was going to happen, and by people, I mean cj.

"Pee potty, Mama?"

"Soon, baby.  Really, really soon."

So I began preparing myself.  I read about a zillion articles on potty training success, then chucked it all and stocked up on Mickey Mouse and Yo Gabba Gabba underpants, paper towels, flushable wipes, tequila (for me) and peanut butter balls (courtesy of my Sis B) for cj.

Two days ago, I started.

And...  it's fine.  Better than fine, really.  It's pretty great.  It works.  And two days in, it's pretty much done.  He has had one accident - ONE - and seems totally on board with the whole thing.

It has been so easy that I'm pretty sure I'm doing it wrong.

Maybe I shouldn't say it out loud, or I'll jinx it.

Actually, forget you just read this.  I don't want to push my luck.