I promise this is the last post I will write about going on vacation. Really.

I have terribly unattractive feet.

Not that feet are ever pretty, really, but mine are at about the top of the ugly scale.

They're fat.

They're different sizes.

They're stubby.

My toes are all gnarled and bent.

They're hairy.

I have never bothered to paint my toenails, because that's just like putting lipstick on a pig.

RJ likes to point out every so often that he loves me even though I have the ugliest feet in the world.  I think that's just mean.

My feet also tend to be a little bit on the rough side - you know, callouses, peeling skin, general funk.

However, after a few days or so walking on the beach, I began to notice a difference.

They were still ugly, of course, but they were... soft.  Smooth, even.

But then I started freaking out a little.

Because if the sand exfoliated my feet so nicely, it must have done the same for countless others before me, right?

Right?

So basically, I had been walking around in other people's dead foot skin.

For days.

Ick.

I wore my flip flops the rest of the trip.

Beauty just ain't worth it.