Five Minute Stocking Stuffers - Keyring Chapstick Holder

I can never, ever, ever find my chapstick in the bottom of my huge purse.  This is a problem, because as a result, I buy a new tube every time I'm in line to check out anywhere, then I use it exactly once, throw it in my purse, and never see it again.  All my chapstick is probably in some alternate dimension frolicking with all the single socks that my dryer eats.

Anyway, I can only assume that others have this problem, too, because if you go to Pinterest and search  for "chapstick holder" there are about a million different ones listed there.

Well, now you can make that a million and one.

SUPPLIES NEEDED:
2- coordinating strips of fabric, approximately 2 inches by 6 inches
1- 1 inch ribbon end crimp (also called a ribbon clamp) WITH loop.  You can get these at any craft store, or on eBay, which is where I prefer to shop due to lack of necessary personal interaction
1 1- 1 inch split key ring.  Ditto above about where to get them, or you can steal one off some freebie key chain a bank gave you in 1994.
scissors, thread, sewing machine, pliers

DIRECTIONS:
Using 1/4 inch seam allowance, place your two pieces of fabric right sides together and sew a straight seam down both long sides and across one short side.  Now turn it right side out.  I keep a chopstick handy to poke the corners out.

Now fold the seamed end of the fabric up approximately 2 1/2 inches, so that the lining (interior) fabric is on the outside (for me , that is the green) and stitch a straight seam up to the edge of your fold.  This forms a pocket.  trim any excess fabric from this seam and turn it so the right side is now out.

Crimp the ribbon end on the unfinished (open) top end of your holder.  (As you can see from the photo mine was a little too wide so I folded the sides in a bit an pressed them down before putting the ribbon crimp on, but I liked the way it looks).  Add your key ring to the top of the ribbon crimp and there you have it.

Now you can find your chapstick, assuming you can find your keys.

It's beginning to look a lot like...

In my previous life as a retail manager, the holidays were deemed largely something to get through, and not anything to enjoy.  At all.

It was pretty miserable, actually.

Non-stop work, very few days off, shopping for gifts in the few spare minutes I did have...  Yeah.  Most of my retail Christmas experiences have all melded into a blur of memories of crowded stores, upset customers who waited till the last minute to pick up the perfect gift because there was a whole stack of them RIGHT THERE sometime in November, and rushed family holiday celebrations because my one day off in the middle of all the chaos was too short to cram everything into.

Fast forward to today.

I'm coming up on my third Christmas season without a retail job.

I think the first year I was in some sort of post-retail PTSD and I frantically made all the cookies in the world and more candy than 12 sane families could consume and wore myself out with preparations and cooking and over the top decorations and basically when it was all over I felt pretty much the same way I did when I was working.

Last year was better, but I still swung wildly in the direction of trying to make up for all the years that I didn't really participate in holiday festivities.

But this year I think I've got it.

A little distance from my crazy retail days.

A little perspective about what's really important to me and to my family.

So yes, I will bake.  And yes, I will decorate.  And yes, I will entertain, and that will stress me out.  Some.

But I got an early start, and I've finished making and/or buying many of my gifts already, and my Christmas cards, which are usually a huge ordeal, are done.  Here's a sneak peek:

Anybody care to guess the theme?

I've been crafting up some special things for the boys, like these awesomely cool Christmas ornaments:

 

I found a tutorial on how to make them right here, and they were super easy - thank you Pinterest for once again making me look like a rock star.

And next up on my to-do list is sewing up some matching pajama pants for the boys to wear on Christmas Eve and morning.  I found some Grinch fabric on eBay for cheap that I think will do quite nicely:

I'm also in the process of looking for a service or giving project for me to do with the boys, maybe something like my friend Dianna is doing with her kids through Operation Christmas Child.

 So yeah, I feel saner this year, and less like I'm going to let Christmas consume me whole, as it has in years past.

Instead, I'm purposefully and deliberately picking and choosing what I will do based on what's important to my family.

And I'm not going to stress about it at all.

Well, not too much, anyway.

"With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility."

The title of this blog post is a quote from Peter Parker's (aka Spiderman's) Uncle Ben.  If you don't know what any of that means, you just might want to move along now...


This is how it started.

RJ came home from his weekly visit to the local comic book shop all a-glow.

RJ:  "Guess what I just bought?"

Me: Oh, shit. "Uh, what, honey?"

RJ: "Well, this guy who works there had a bunch of comic book figures for sale and he was really short on cash and he gave me a great deal."

Me: "How many did you buy?"

RJ: Looking dumbfounded that I would have to ask. "Well, I bought them all, of course."

Use your imagination and insert some words here: passive-aggressive drivel from me about "finding a place for them SOMEWHERE" and super-cajoling "But they're really cool!  And a good INVESTMENT!" from RJ, until a compromise was reached.  I would sell them all on eBay, return the initial blue-gazallion dollar investment to RJ, and  pocket the profits as my own, to buy vodka, wine and cute shoes with.


Easy-peasy, no?

Uh, no.

Because when I saw the boxes and boxes of things that looked like this:

It's kinda possible that my head blew completely off and I seriously considered tossing the entire lot in the trash, "investment" be damned and I was unsure where to begin.

See, in case you were unaware of this, in order to sell things to comic book geeks online, you must be able to correctly identify them.  And not only must you be able to identify them, you must know what if they're a variant,  or possibly a limited edition or what series they were part of.  Oh. Dear. Lord.  I could get as far as naming some of the figures.  I knew Ironman, and Wolverine, and even some more obscure ones like Apocalypse and Blob.

But this guy (and a million more like him)?

Not a flippin' clue.

Zj just happened to wander by as I was Googling "red and purple guy with spikes" - don't ever do that, by the way - and muttering under my breath about investments-my-ass, and yelled "Mama!  Where did you get that cool Onslaught figure?"

Ding! Ding! Ding!

Suddenly all the hours I basically ignored zj and let him watch YouTube videos of comics book figures while I was busy playing on Twitter were going to pay off!

He grabbed it from me and started to talk about things like the details of the spine, and the "rotation and articulation of the torso," whatever the hell THAT meant.

So I put his little ass to work.

Several hours later - hey, I feed and clothe the kid, it seemed like a small price to pay on his part - we had correctly identified many of the figures, and my eBay store was exploding with what could only be described as a Geek-gasm of epic proportions.

And when it was all said and done, I saw that it was going to be a breeze to recoup the initial "investment" with plenty of wine-fund money left over for me.

I paid zj for his time in random figures.

And I don't think he minded one bit.

Prices slashed! Everything on sale!

There are a blue million great coupon and money saving blogs.

This is not one of them.  I have never aspired to that, and I'm not about to start now.

However, I do love a good bargain.  More than most.  But I'm kinda inconsistent about bargain shopping, and occasionally - ok, more than occasionally - choose convenience over cheap.

I clip coupons, dutifully, every week.  Then usually forget to use them.

I refuse - REFUSE - to be one of the crazies dedicated people who stand in line for 89 hours to save $40 off a flat screen tv.

But I also refuse - REFUSE - to pay shipping for anything I purchase online.

Also, I am a member of every membership rewards loyalty card program in America.

Inconsistent, I know.

Try living in my head for a day...

Anyway, over the past six months, I have re-dedicated myself a bit to the whole money-saving venture, and I treat it like a game.  How cheap can I get a pack of t-shirts?  Can I get something at the grocery - GASP! - free?  It's a challenge, and I'm super competitive, and I like to win.

I know.  Clearly I need more hobbies.

But now, you, faithful readers, get to benefit from what I have learned.  Over the next few weeks, I'm going to share with you ways to save money while shopping that require minimal effort on your part.  Pull up a chair, and let me regale you with my wisdom.  Or at least save you $.40 on juice.  Whatever.

Today's focus is on saving money while grocery shopping.

Here goes:

I do a bit of grocery shopping at Wal-Mart (sad, I know) and Meijer's, but 80% of my groceries come from Kroger.  Why?  Well, it's conveniently located, it's well-stocked, and it's usually not crowded.  Those are my top three grocery store criteria.

I have had a Kroger Plus card for years, and always thought it was a bit of a scam... You know, a way to raise prices then make you THINK you were saving money with your card.  I thought that, until I found out that you can load coupons, directly onto your card, from the Kroger website.

Here's how it works.  Go to www.kroger.com and click on Digital Coupons.  You will be asked to create an account with some basic information and with your Kroger Plus number.  Then, click away!  As you click on the digital coupons, they are automatically added to your Plus card.  When you shop at Kroger and swipe your card, the savings are automatically deducted.

For a lazy couponer like me, this is perfect.  I just go onto the website once a week or so, and add coupons to my card for anything I buy, ever.  Then whenever I shop, the amount gets deducted.

It's like magic.

Also, I found out last time I did this that if you have a digital coupon for something, you can also use a paper coupon on top of that, if you remember to bring it with you.  Which I did, that one time.  And since Kroger doubles coupons up to $.50, you can save a bunch of money if you pay a little bit of attention.  Or not.  I got one of those giant bottles of Tide laundry detergent last week for around $6.00, totally by accident.  I know, I'm really lucky that way...

It gets even better.  If you have an iPhone, Kroger offers an app that is free to download and that lets you do exactly the same thing.  Except you can do it from your iPhone, which is way cooler.  Anyway, you register the app to your Plus card, open the app, click the coupon, and Voila! - you save some money.  This is especially cool because you can do it WHILE walking around doing your shopping.

Also, Cellfire is another great website that lets you load coupons directly to your Kroger card.  I haven't used it as much, but my initial trial has been positive.

Ok, that was easy, huh?  Come back later this week, and I'm going to tell you why you never have to pay shipping costs on anything you buy online.  Ever again.

My internet went out for about a minute. It was like the freaking Dark Ages.

So...  It's Friday night.  


Friday night is a night that I can usually count on RJ to go out,  either to play poker or for drinks with the guys after work.  So typically I put the kids to bed at 5:30 and plan an evening of drinking, enjoyment and relaxation for myself.  Typically.  

On this particular Friday night, I had my Sonic Cherry Limeade mixed with rum, my kids in bed by seven, and my night planned.

As I was eating my dinner (Triscuits, cheddar cheese and pepperoni, if you must know) the electricity blinked.  Just for a second.  It came right back on, so I though very little of it.  

I moved on to phase two of my relaxing evening.  I had my fruity rum drink, my trusted Nook, my Ipad, my MacBook, and I was set for an evening of relaxation.


I sat down in front of the computer, opened Facebook, and... nothing.  Nada.  Zip.  Zilch.


I refreshed.  Silly little computer.  Why would you want to play games with me?  I have some drunk Facebooking to do, and some tweeting, and some Ebaying and some blogging.  I am a very busy girl, and I have things to do.  Surely you are just being silly.


Still nothing.  Then I get a message on the screen.  "Your computer is not connected to the internet.  Check your internet connection and try this page again."


What?


Not. Cool.  


We have wi-fi in our house, but I'm currently plugged into this cool little blue cord that makes my MacBook faster than the speed of light.


I unplugged it.  I plugged it back in.


Nothin'.


I set it to wi-fi.


Still nothin'.


It was ok.  I didn't panic.  I still have my Ipad.  It was ok.


Ipad. No. Internet.


Oh dear, this is freakin' bad.  BAD.


I fired off a quick text to RJ.  "Um, hon, the electricity blinked and none of my gadgets work.  Any thoughts?"


I waited for at least four minutes for a really long time with no response.  Hmm.  He must be really busy.  


Text number two: "There is no internet here.  I either need you to answer my message and TELL ME HOW TO FIX IT OR GET YOUR A$$ HOME. NOW. Please?"  My Mama always said you can catch more flies with honey, you know...


Still no response.  


After gulping most of my rum drink taking a moment to compose myself, I decided that surely I could figure out something interesting to do without the internet.  I pulled out my Nook, and decided to read a bit.  But...  I needed a new book and it's kinda hard to search on that itty-bitty screen and I'll just jump on my computer to find a new one... Oh wait.  I drank some more rum.


Ok, well, I have a fun new puzzle game app on my Ipad.  I can just play that for a while, right?  Gosh, I'm so resilient, so smart, so adaptable.  I can live without the internet...  Ipad out, app pulled up, and I get this message "You must be connected to the internet to play this game.  Please check your internet connection now."  Rum drink refill time.


ARRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Third text messageto RJ: "I'm moving.  I hear many hotels have free internet.  It's like the Dark Ages here.  I cannot thrive under these circumstances.  Goodbye."


Within a few minutes, I get a response from RJ with some very complicated, very complex, very hard to follow directions to unplug the wi-fi thingy and plug it back it.  I took a deep breath, drank some more rum, and tried to work my way through all the complicated steps in the process. 


After I was finished, I walked back over the the computer, took a swig of rum, and hit reload.


Facebook - success!


I checked the Ipad.  Internet connection good.


And then I passed out.


The end.

Ahh ebay. I think I love you.

Dear ebay,

I think I love you.

It started out innocently enough.  See, I had these dolls to sell.  Dolls that I had a long time.  Dolls that I obviously was never going to have a use for, given that there are only boys in my house.

So I came to you for help.

You were kind to me.  You walked poor little inexperienced me through a new auction listing.  I made some mistakes in our relationship early on, sure, but you were patient.  Oh, so patient.  

And I waited.  

A few days passed, and I didn't hear much from you.  But I kept checking, and I kept hoping, and soon enough, the bids began.  $50.  $100.  $200!!!!  Really?  It was this easy?

And so our relationship began in earnest.

What else could I possibly sell?

I roamed the house, weighing potential use against potential sales.

Potential sales almost always won.

I have dedicated an entire room of my house to you.  It contains things listed, and things yet to be listed, but it is clearly all in your honor.

I have my own business cards that I use to promote my relationship with you.  It's like shouting it from the rooftops.

I sign our invoices with hearts and flowers.

I know, deep down, that you would do the same for me, if you could.

Dear ebay, we are now in the seventh month of our relationship, and I love you more than ever before.  Sometimes life gets in the way and we don't get to spend the quality time together that I would like, but you are forgiving.  You always take me back.

And someday, someday soon, darling, I hope to be yours, exclusively.