Fifteen movies to watch over and over and over.

It's the middle of January.

This means the following things are totally, completely, and utterly true:

1.  I'm grumpy.
2.  It's flipping cold.  Except when it's not.  Then it's irritatingly warm.
3.  I'm stupidly sick with some unavoidable cough/drainage/mucousy stuff that I have had every January since the beginning of time.
4.  Really all I want to do right now is lay in bed, watch bad movies and eat mashed potatoes.
5.  I'm grumpy.

I'm thinking there's a pretty good chance I have just a touch of that Seasonal Affective Disorder stuff, because I can't remember a January that I didn't feel like this to some degree.  It may also be the vestiges of a post-holiday season retail manager hangover, which I still experience occasionally like phantom limb pain or something.

This year I've decided to give in to it a little bit.  Usually when I feel like this I might stick my nose (and my crabby, crabby mind) in a good book, but since I finished the last Dresden booknothing has interested me much.

So I've been watching bad tv (let's hear it for Restaurant Impossible!) just for background noise and in order to avoid... well, pretty much everything. But the Food Network can really only keep me going for so long, so I've started re-watching some movies that are old favorites.  I think most people have a list of movies that when you see it on tv, NO MATTER WHAT, you will drop everything and watch it for just a little while - ok, until the bitter end - and it usually leaves you feeling like you just had a nice chat with an old friend.  It doesn't hurt that you can recite most of the lines right along with the actors, either.

Yeah, I have a list like that too.  So here, in no particular order, are the fifteen movies that I can (and do!) watch over and over.

1. UHF  Yes, it stars Weird Al.  Yes, it has a TERRIBLE plot.  It doesn't matter.  Any time I've been asked to name my favorite movies, this one has made the list.  From Raoul's Wild Kingdom - FLY FIFI, FLY! - to WHEEL. OF. FISH. to "Supplies!" to Stanley Kowalski's mop, this is probably the movie I quote the most often, randomly, without warning, and often at wildly inopportune times.

2.  Coal Miner's Daughter If you've ever read my blog before, you know I'm a huge country music fan, but aside from the music, this movie is crazy important to me for one reason - it started my lifelong love affair with Tommy Lee Jones.  Apparently dry, irascible old men are my thing.

3.  Blazing Saddles  I've never met a Mel Brooks movie I didn't love, but this one is hands down my favorite.  It's wonderfully inappropriate and pee-your-pants funny.  It was also considered HIGHLY controversial when it was released in 1974 (a VERY good year, by the way), and may be even more so now, but I don't love it for it's political correctness and politeness.  I love it because it never fails to make me laugh, even though I can clearly see how terrible it really is.

4.  Top Gun It's Tom Cruise before he got all weird and started jumping all over Oprah's furniture and accepting roles for which he was not suited (I'm looking at you, Jack Reacher).  It's hot guys in white uniforms singing to deserving women.  But more importantly, it's Goose.  Gah, I love Goose.

5.  Footloose - the original, of course.  What's better than a coming of age story about religion, judgey small town life (a subject I'm a bit of an expert on, by the way), great music and dancing? Nothing, in my opinion.  Nothing at all.  

6.  Gone with the WindEverybody's always "Scarlett this" and "Scarlett that" but to be honest, I think she's a brat. I'm really more of a Melanie fan.  She's sweet, kind, pure and good.  Such a shame about the dying part, though.  Oops. I guess that's what's known as a "spoiler," huh?

7.  To Kill a MockingbirdGreat books do not always equal great movies.  However, this is a major exception to that rule.  Gregory Peck is SUPERB in this movie, and if I had to guess, I'd say I've watched this movie a hundred times.  True confession time - I pushed HARD to name one of my kids "Atticus."  Sadly, I lost.  Also, I'm still bitter about it.  

8.  The Shawshank RedemptionHere's another great example of how a good book CAN be made into a good movie.  Hollywood, take note.  It can be done.   This is, in my humble opinion, Morgan Freeman's best role out of a million fantastic ones.  

9.  Lonesome DoveI mentioned irascible old men were kinda my thing, right?  Robert Duvall, Tommy Lee Jones, cowboys, justice... all the things I love.  Now TECHNICALLY this is a mini-series, but it's my list and I want Lonesome Dove on it.  So there.

10.  The IncrediblesYeah, it's a cartoon.  Yeah, it's about super heroes.  But it's so so much more.  It's actually a pretty complex story about how marriages change over time, about finding your place in the world, and about doing hard things and making sacrifices to keep your family safe.  I cry every single time I watch it.  Which is pretty often.

11.  Great Balls of Fire!Jerry Lee Lewis was tortured and brilliant and damaged and that's just my kind of thing.  Also, Dennis Quaid.... Wowza.  And when that guy that looks JUST like a young Elvis shows up in his Army uniform and says "Just take it.  Take it all." I get chills every single time.

12.  JFKA three+ hour movie about history would not normally be my thing, but I've always had such a fascination with the Kennedys that this one holds my attention time and time and time again.  And we still don't really know what happened, do we?  Not really.

13.  OverboardThis is one of those movies in which the plot can't hold water, the acting is marginal... yet inexplicably, I still love.  I think it's because the deep theme in it is that people really can change. Also, Kurt Russell in a wife beater and overalls doesn't hurt.

14.  HoosiersWhen I was a kid, my entire elementary school got to go to the theater to see this movie right after it came out, and for a poor rural elementary school like mine, this was a BIG deal.  I remember how the small theater was full of kindergarten through eighth graders who fidgeted during all the "talking" parts and cheered loudly and wildly during all the basketball scenes.  When I watched the movie again as a grown-up, it struck me how bizarre a choice that was to take a group of elementary school kids to, but I also fell truly, madly and deeply in love with Dennis Hopper's character, and he continues to be the star for me.

15.  Big Trouble in Little ChinaHere's one more "bad plot, terrible acting" example that I inexplicable love.  Hey, I can't explain it; I just live it.

How about you?  Are there movies that you can watch over and over and over?  Let me know - I need a few more to add to my list ;)

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Do you feel like a good cry today?

I'm not a sentimental type.

I don't cry much.

Ok, I almost never cry.

I like to fancy myself a stoic type, very Vulcan-like and unemotional and practical and all that.

My Sis B recently told me that I don't have feelings like a "normal person," like we're experts on THAT or something.

Whatever.

Also, I pretty much never re-post or re-tweet or even watch or look at the sappy sentimental videos and pictures that are all over the internet, and that many people seem to love.

So when I got floored, like absolutely dropping on the ground ugly-crying into my coffee not once but twice by random videos in the past two weeks, I decided I had to share.

You're welcome.



I randomly clicked on this video on Facebook, mainly because it was posted by someone who never posts anything, so I figured it must be at least vaguely interesting.

I have gone back and watched it about a dozen times, and every time I sob hysterically.  At this point, I don't even have to get to the good part before the weird hiccuppy sobs start.

Then this morning I ran across this little gem via Twitter, and clicked it for pretty much the same reason.  Somebody who doesn't post videos put the link out there, so I gave it a quick click.


Danny & Annie from StoryCorps on Vimeo.


And... cue waterworks.

At this point, I'm afraid I may be getting softer and sentimental in my old age or something.

I may need an intervention, or the next step in this journey of mine may include holiday sweaters that light up and minivan stickers portraying my entire family, including the goldfish.

Somebody save me.

Please.

 

The postman only rings once. Then he runs.

Zj is obsessed with two things. 

Superheroes and playing pretend superheroes.

"Mama, wanna play pretend with me?"

I hear it a thousand times a day and oh dear God I'd rather stab my eye out with a rusty spoon that to have to be pretend to be a superhero sidekick or a villain one more freakin' second I usually figure out a way to incorporate in into our daily life.

While I'm making breakfast, I'm Catwoman to zj's Batman.

Folding laundry?  I'll be Jean Grey to zj's Wolverine.

Lunchtime?  I'll be Pepper Potts to his Ironman.

Recently, since I took zj to see the movie and have purchased no less than 14 Burger King kid's meals in order to secure all 6 toys, it's been Thor and Sif.  

And on and on the day goes.  And on, and on, and on, and on, and on...

Being the well-rounded superhero-loving family that we are, there are also many, many costume changes involved.  

Mostly on zj's part.  Sadly, many of his costumes are on the smallish side for me.  But the headgear fits.  Oh joy.

One day last week, we did our usual "Thor&Sif" routine in the morning, then I got a brief reprieve while cj napped and zj watched random Youtube videos on the iPad about how to assemble, disassemble and reassemble Marvel Crossover Transformer Action Figures.

Hmmm... geek much?

Anyway, at one point the doorbell rang, and I did my usual mental inventory to ensure I was appropriately dressed to answer the door.  Pants?  Check.  Shirt? Check.  (My standards are pretty low.) Ok, hi Mailman.  Thanks for the package.

When I opened the door, the mailman, our usual friendly guy, looked a bit startled.  I did a quick, stealthy glance down.  Yep, I had all my lady bits covered.   Mailman stuttered and stammered a minute as I tried to make friendly chitchat, but he seemed a little... off, I guess.  Is he having a stroke?  On my front porch?  Oh dear God who am I going to call if my mailman has a stroke on my front porch?  Do I have to call 911 or can I just print a label out and ship him back somewhere?  Parcel post, of course.  It's my face.  He's staring at my face.  I must have chocolate on my face.  Or maybe I need to get my eyelids and mustache waxed again. Yep.  He's definitely staring at my mustache.  Damn judge-y old Mailman.  Well screw him.  He has HAIR GROWING OUT OF HIS EARS.  Who is he to judge a few stray chin hairs on an otherwise perfectly lovely lady like myself?  That's it.  I'm not standing for it.  I'm taking my business to UPS.

After a perfectly frosty "ThankYouAndGoodbye" and a bit of a door slam on my part, I put down my package and went to see exactly what my Mailman was staring at.

And I saw this:

Oh.

Well.

I guess my Sif Headband might merit a second look.

It's ok, Mailman.

I forgive you for staring.

I'm generous like that.

Even Meth Heads watch movies.

Tuesday was RJ's day off from work, and possibly because I have been sorta grumpy lately he and the boys stayed home and I went out to "run errands," even though we both knew I had no real errands to run.

I got my Route 44 unsweet tea, extra ice from Sonic, wandered around Target for an hour, wandered around Kohl's for an hour trying on things I would never in a million years buy, and made a quick stop at the liquor store.   Not once did I have to wipe any bodily fluids off anyone.  

It was like Heaven.

My last stop of the day before heading home was to drop a movie off at the Redbox.  RJ had a free code and had brought home Due Date, which I would like to point out we had not really watched.  We just like to rent movies and pretend we are not too old to stay up past 9:30 to watch them.   

As I walked up to the Redbox, I noticed something strange - a line.  At the Redbox.  Ok, I have time, I'll just queue up and wait.

Directly in front of me was a young boy, 14 or so, who was bouncing from one foot to the other and looking decidedly nervous.  In front of him and at the Redbox was a woman who could kindly be described as a crack whore.  Or a meth head.  Or whatever.  I'm not totally up on all the cool drugs, not since that one time I tried sniffing Coke and the ice cube got stuck up my nose.  Anyway, she was high on something, and she was PISSED.

She alternated between yelling into her cell phone, punching random buttons on the Redbox, and yelling at the Redbox.  Occasionally she would also kick and/or slap the Redbox for good measure, too.   The kid on front of me bounced faster and faster and looked everywhere except Meth Head, which I assume would be difficult, considering her underpants (and lack thereof)  were totally visible through all the rips in the ass of her pants.  

Yell.  Punch buttons.  Kick.  Yell some more.  Punch the same buttons again, but harder.  Surely that will yield a different result!

I was getting ready to turn around and walk away to find another Redbox somewhere, and the kid in front of my was now bouncing so high from foot to foot that  thought he might take off into space when, in a moment of semi-coherence, I heard her say to her phone, "What effing kind of Redbox doesn't effing have effing Due Date?"

Hmmm...

Now I'm no rocket scientist, but since I was standing in line holding Due Date, and Crack Whore wanted to rent Due Date, it stood to reason that after I returned it, it would be available...  Hmmm...  

"Excuse me." I whispered.

Nothing.

"Excuse me." I said, a little louder.

No response.

"EXCUSE ME!" I yelled in my best I'm-The-Mama-And-You'd-Better-Sit-Down-And-Listen-Up-And-Listen-Good Voice.

Meth Head/Crack Whore turned around to see what could possible be making so much noise. 

I waved the DVD in her general direction.   "I'm getting ready to return a copy of Due Date when it's my turn."

Blank stare.

"After I return it, it should be available for you to rent." I hope.  Oh well, I'll be long gone by then if it doesn't work out.

Slowly I could see the wheels turning in her brain.  Was I a threat?  No.  Was I a cop?  No.  Was I trying to steal her stash? No.  Did I have something she wanted?  Maybe.

At this point, the kid stopped bouncing and looked at me as though I was a savior.  Or a giant pizza with pepperoni and extra cheese.  Whatever.  He was happy to see me.  "Why don't you go ahead of me and return your movie so she can rent it?"  He was practically begging.

At this point, Crack Meth Head Whore looked a little suspicious.  And very dirty.  Whatever.  Were we trying to gang up on her?

"Look," I said, opening the case.  "This is the movie you want, right?"

She nodded slowly, blood-shot eyes darting back and forth.

"So let me return it, then you can rent it."  I was careful not to make direct eye contact.

She nodded slowly again, then immediately morphed into a completely different drug addict.

"OH MY GOD! YOU WOULD DO THAT FOR ME? YOU'RE GOOD PEOPLE.  THERE AREN'T A LOT OF GOOD PEOPLE LEFT AND YOU ARE ONE OF THEM.  YOU ARE WILLING TO HELP ME OUT AND NOBODY IS EVER WILLING TO HELP ME OUT - WHAT'S YOUR NAME?"

"Jennifer,"  I lied.

"WELL JENNIFER, YOU ARE A TRUE FRIEND."  At this point, there were big tears in her blood-shot eyes and her too-thick mascara was beginning to run down her meth-sore marked face.  

Awesome.

I made the druggie cry.

I sort of stepped around her as she continued to tell me I was nicer to her than her own family - imagine that - and quickly returned my movie.

I said, "Well, there ya go.  Hope you like it!"  and briskly walked away before she could ask me for my number.

As  I was walking away, I made pointed and direct eye contact with the kid, who was STILL in line.  "Get away now.  I'm not sure if this will work," I said with my mind powers.  He seemed to get it, and turned and followed me back toward the parking lot.

I got in my car and started to drive away, but my nosy nature got me, and I found myself slowly driving by the Redbox.  There stood my Meth Head Friend, movie in hand, looking like she had won the lottery.  Or scored a hit.

Either way, I had done my good deed for the day.

I wonder what "Pay it Forward" means to a Crack Whore?

www.kludgymom.com

Wild rumpus - $37. Going to the potty - priceless.

RJ and I decided that is was time for zj to see a real movie, in a real theatre.  So on Sunday afternoon, Aunt B (no, not THAT Aunt B) came over to sit with cj, and off we went on a stress-filled, whiney, more-trouble-than-it-was-worth magical adventure to see Where the Wild Things Are. We arrived at the theatre, paid way too much to get in, paid way too much for popcorn, (but I did have the foresight to sneak the M&Ms in), and got good seats.  The movie started with only one trailer to watch, and the wild rumpus was on.

Since he was an itty-bitty, zj has LOVED the bookso it seems like not much of a stretch that he would also love the movie, right?  RIGHT?

About 10 minutes, he began to stage whisper, loudly, "Is it over yet?"  This reminds me of the time Aunt B & I took Mama to see Batman, but that's another story altogether...

So, anyway, about 15 minutes in, zj realized that the only way that moving around would be acceptable would be if there were a destination, if you will, in mind.

"Daddy, I have to go to the POTTY."

After several potty breaks, and approximately 1 hour into the movie, this is what happened:

Well, I enjoyed it, anyway.

So, movie over, and RJ carried zj out to the car.  While being buckled in zj woke up, and resumed his conversation mid-sentence.  To distract him, I asked him what his favorite part of the movie was.

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

"Well, I liked going to the potty."

The end.

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