The one where I pretend to be Catwoman.

Today, I'm guest posting at The Kennedy Adventures.  Be sure to drop by and say hi to my friend Dianna. Dianna and I go way, WAY back, like to when we were too-smart-for-our-own-good little girls in elementary school.  If you're here by way of The Kennedy Adventures, then folks, this is the rest of the story...

Zj is a bit obsessed with Superheroes.

For a while, his obsession was about everyone of the Marvel persuasion.

Lately, though, he's been on a bit of a DC kick.

He has absolutely no interest in anything that might some day be vaguely useful, like, say, READING, but he can tell you the names of all four people to fill the role of Robin, in order,  with a brief bio.  Mama's so proud.

If you don't know what any of that means, you clearly have girls living in your house.  But I'm not bitter.  Much.

Anyway, pretty much the only thing that can keep zj's attention for any amount of time, other than Benadryl, which knocks him RIGHT out, video games which I try to avoid for all but 14 hours a day, which we all know cause brain cancer, violent behavior and male pattern baldness, is to play pretend.

It goes something like this:

Zj: "Mama, I''l be Batman, you be Catwoman, and cj can be baby Robin."

Me: "Ok."  At this point, I'm still hopeful that this will be one of those games of pretend where I can get away with a well placed "Yeah" or "Uh-huh" and that will be all that's necessary.  Sadly, those times are getting fewer and further between...

Zj: "Catwoman, why did you steal all those jewels from the Gotham Museum?"

Me: "Uh, ok."


Me: Dammit.  I'm going to have to pay attention this time.  "Ok, Batman, I took the jewels.  Whaddya gonna do about it? Meow."  I like to meow randomly when pretending to be Catwoman.  It's called METHOD acting, people.

Zj: "Well Catwoman, if you wanna, maybe we could go out some time.  Ya know, like on a date?"   

Me: "Meow.  Ok Batman, I'll go on a date with you.  Where are you going to take me?"

Zj:  "Well, maybe we could go to the Gotham dance.  And go get cheeseburgers.  Here, I'll get yours.  What do you like on your cheeseburger?"

Me: "Um, ok? I like lettuce.  Meow."

Zj:  "Here's your cheeseburger with lettuce, Catwoman.  Now let's go to the dance." Pretends to get into the Batmobile and drives us to the dance.  "Um, Catowman, you need to go put your fancy dress on to go to the dance."

Me: Whaaa???  "Ok, Batman.  What does my fancy dress look like?  Meow."

Zj:  "Well, it's shiny, with sparkles, and a ribbon and a bow, and flowers.  And it has sparkles on it."

Me: I think you mentioned the sparkles... 

Zj: "Oh, and the shoes.  The shoes are the ones, ya know, that are big.  Like, ya know, tall, with points in the back."

Me: "MEOW? You mean high heels?"

Zj: "Yeah, and they have sparkles, too."

Awesome.  So now I'm raising a boy-child who has set the bar for future relationships at Catwoman wearing a sparkly dress and heels.  No pressure there.  I'm sure those types are a dime a dozen.

It's bad enough that he is clearly going to be a comic book geek.

Now, he's working on being a comic book geek with unrealistic expectations.

Well, Meow.

And that's all I have to say about that.

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