Sort of homemade Sweet & Sour Chicken. Because my kitchen is the best Asian restaurant in town.

We were going to have some friends over for dinner the other night, and I was feeling like Asian.  Not like AN ASIAN, that's RJ's domain, but like cooking and eating Asian food.  Whew.  I'm glad we cleared that all up.

Anyway, I was planning on making fried rice, Spring rolls, and Beef with Broccoli.  I know how to make all those things, and all those things taste good in my mouth.

A few nights before our planned dinner, I woke up in the middle of the night.  It had come to me, as if in a dream, that I suddenly remembered that one of our soon to visit dinner guests was allergic to broccoli.

Who the hell is allergic to broccoli?

Really?  Broccoli?

So, I moved on to Plan B.  I'm flexible that way.

What Asian food has not even a whiff or an essence of broccoli?

Sweet and Sour Chicken, of course.

I went to my favorite recipe site, Allrecipes, and looked for Sweet & Sour Chicken recipes.

Apparently, everyone else in the world is either too health conscience or too lazy to use breaded chicken.  All I could find were stir-fry like deals, and while those probably would help my arteries (and the size of my a$$), they would not taste as good.

So I made up my own recipe.

It's sort of like homemade, except for the part where I bought pre-prepared sauce.

It is the best Sweet & Sour Chicken I've ever eaten.


For the sauce:

1 medium sized yellow onion, cut into largeish pieces
1 green pepper, cut into largeish pieces - it's a theme, you see
1 small can of pineapple chunks.  Don't drain it.  If you buy the expensive name brand kind, they will be called TIDBITS.
2 jars of pre-prepared sweet and sour sauce.  It's in the Asian food aisle.  I got one jar of Kikkoman and one jar of La Choy because the colors were both wrong.  If you mix them together, they look better.  I promise.  I cannot make this stuff up.

For the chicken:

1 lb. chicken breast, cut into bite-sized chunks
1 cup plus 2 tablespoons flour.  It can be all-purpose or self-rising.  I don't really care, and it won't really matter.
1 egg
1/2 cup of milk, give or take
Salt and pepper
Oil for frying


Put the chopped chicken bits into a gallon ziplock bag with the 2 tablespoons of flour and some salt and pepper.  Squish it all around until the chicken is coated, and then put it in your fridge for a while.  At least an hour.  DO NOT SKIP THIS STEP.  I know what you're thinking.  It won't matter if you put it in the fridge, right?  It. Will. Matter.

Chop the onion and pepper, and put them into a small saucepan.  Dump in the pineapple, juice and all, and add both jars of sweet and sour sauce.  Simmer covered on really low heat for a while, the longer the better.  Somewhere between a half hour and an hour seemed to be enough, but longer than that works, too.  Just stir it every few minutes so it doesn't stick.

In a small bowl, mix the cup of flour with the egg and the milk.  You're going for the consistency of pancake batter here.  As a matter of fact, you could totally turn on the griddle and fry up a batch of pancakes out of this.  But then there won't be any left for your chicken, and you'll be sad.

Preheat 1/2 inch of oil in a big skillet.

Dip the flour/salt/pepper coated chicken pieces in the batter one at a time, and drop them into the hot oil one at a time.  If you try to do a bunch at once it will turn into a big mutant chicken ball, and nobody wants that.  Cook for 2-3 minutes on each side until it's toasty brown.

When the chicken's all done, put it on a big platter and pour the sauce over top of it.  Serve it to your friends for dinner.

They will like it.

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