We have lived in our house for nine years and four months.
When we moved in, everything - and I do mean pretty much EVERYTHING - was completely new.
The average life span of things like new appliances, HVAC units and general house-type things is apparently nine years and three months.
Yeah. We're in a breakdown phase at the moment.
The first thing to die was the air conditioning unit. On the hottest day of the year. Of course.
When the repairman came, he hemmed and hawed and finally fixed it for the low, low price of $400, but not before stamping "REPLACEMENT RECOMMENDED" in large red letters all over the invoice, the ac unit itself, and the back of my hand. We got as far as having the "comfort care specialist" out to give us an estimate on a new one, but unless I want to sell my right kidney to pay for it we will have to take our chances that the repair job will hold.
Next up was the ice maker and possibly the refrigerator.
During dinner one night, I heard the ice maker make a weird hissing noise and the next thing I knew, it was spewing water all over my kitchen floor. Good times.
After I cleaned the water up I spoke rather harshly to ice maker, smacked it around a little bit and it started working again. For now.
Next up was the microwave. While I was heating a hot pocket up - don't judge, those things are GOOD - it pinged, popped, and started speaking French. Oh, and it stopped heating stuff up. So that renders it totally useless, I guess. And it's one of those over-the-range deals with ventilation and a fan and all that, so it's not like we can just go to Target and buy a new one. No, not at all. The new one will be delivered and installed on Monday for the low, low, all inclusive price of... you guessed it - $400.
Also, in no particular order, the vacuum died an ugly, tragic death, the washer has started making wheezing sounds, the electronic panel on the oven stopped working which means I get to guess at things like the cooking temperature - IT'S AN ADVENTURE! - and the kitchen sink has been completely clogged no less than four times.
At this point, I'm thinking it might be easier to move to a new house than to repair and/or replace everything here.
Either way, it's looking to be an expensive endeavor.
Anybody need a kidney? I'd offer my liver, but it's pretty well shot.