He loves me, and sitting on my lap is his favorite hobby.
He adores his daddy, tolerates his brother more often than not, and has grown fond of several aunts, uncles and cousins over the past few months.
Other than that, though, he really has little use for other people.
Since I'm a bit of a homebody, too, this usually isn't an issue. However, we occasionally have to venture out into big bad world to do necessary things like buy milk and bread and eggs, and these little excursions are often challenging for cj.
Mainly because everywhere we go,
It's just a THING, I guess, to talk to little kids. Maybe it's what normal people do. Personally, I try to avoid speaking directly to anyone I don't share a house or some sort of genetic material with. It's just the way I am, and it's served me well for 37 years.
Last week, cj and I were out doing a bit of Christmas shopping at the Dollar Tree - hey, don't judge, times are hard, ya know - and we passed a
"WHAT PRETTY BROWN EYES YOU HAVE," she screamed at him. I guess she was maybe perhaps just a BIT hard of hearing.
Usually when cj is faced with a stranger trying to interact with him, he does some sort of strange twitchy shoulder-to-ear move, averts his gaze, and occasionally barks at them.
He was feeling brave on this day, though. Maybe it was the feeling of empowerment he gets from shopping at the Dollar Tree. I can afford anything in this store!!! Anything at all!!! Oh wait, that's me.
"No, Bebe Booper (Baby Cooper) bwue (blue) eyes," he answered. Totally incorrectly, by the way.
Now I know I'm a bit biased, but I think cj's definitely BROWN eyes are amazingly beautiful. I feel certain that these eyes will get him out of all sorts of trouble in his lifetime, and possibly INTO trouble of another sort...
But anyway, back to the story.
"No, Bebe Booper (Baby Cooper) bwue (blue) eyes," he answered.
"OH NO!" the little old lady shrieked. "YOU HAVE BROWN EYES."
"BWUE," cj said firmly, and turned his head away, because that was THAT.
"NO, YOUR EYES ARE DEFINITELY BROWN," the little old lady bellowed.
Seriously? You're going to come into the Dollar Tree on a Thursday morning and pick a fight with a two year old? Ok, lady, whatever. You probably deserve whatever's coming to you.
"BWUE BWUE BWUE BWUE!!!!" cj screamed, then began to hiss and bark at her. Typically hissing is a last resort for cj, reserved for rare occasions like when I insist on a nap or refuse a sucker. The barking's pretty typical, though.
This exchange was quickly escalating in volume and before too long we were gathering a bit of an audience. Apparently yelling matches between two year old brown eyed boys and Methusleah aged ladies are not the norm in the Dollar Tree. It's more a Wal-Mart thing, I guess.
At this point, I turned the cart around, dodged several displays, and made for the door.
Once we were safely strapped in the car and heading home, I could breathe again.
Fighting with a little old lady in the middle of a store is not my idea of a good time, and I wanted to just forget all about it.
Cj, however, had a different way of handling it.
All the way home, he kept muttering under his breath "Bebe Booper no bwown eyes. Bebe Booper BWUE eyes."
At 2 and not quite a half, not only is he anti-social and willing to argue his convictions even when he's dead wrong, now he's a grudge holder, too.
Can't wait to see what happens when he's three.