When nap time goes really, really wrong.

It was a peaceful Saturday afternoon at 154 Hidden Court.

Cj had just gone down for a nap - thankfully - Zj and I were in the kitchen.

I was making some of my near-famous potato salad and playing pretend with zj at the same time.  Zj was Batman, and I was Catwoman, which means he was jumping and screaming all around me and I just had to look bored and meow occasionally.  It's no problem really, I do that all the time anyway.

We were going on about our business, playing and cooking, cooking and playing, until zj stops dead still, looking toward the living room, and whispered "Uh, Mama."

There are few things that will get my attention quicker than zj a) being still and b) being quiet.

At that very moment, cj rounded the corner of the breakfast bar, and he was covered... I mean COVERED in blood.  It was in his hair.  It was all over his face.  It was on his hands.  Covered.

He looked like something out of a bad horror movie, except instead of red-tinted corn syrup, the blood was real.

He looked like someone had slaughtered a goat all over him, where goat = cj.

I grabbed him and sat him on the kitchen counter, and immediately began to wipe the blood off to find the source.

He wasn't particularly upset, or even crying, so I immediately suspected shock due to blood loss.

My mind was going a hundred miles an hour.

Ok, should I call 911 or just put him in the car and drive him to the ER? I should call RJ to meet us there... but that can wait.  Oh dear lord where is all this blood coming from?  Maybe a scalp wound? Those bleed a lot.  Nope.  Maybe inside his mouth?  Maybe he bit his tongue in half?  Nope. Ok, when I find the source, what do you do for bleeding? Pressure? Ice? Tourniquet? Vodka? Maybe for me.  Oh Jesus why did I spend the entire time in my Safety and First Aid class in college flirting with RJ instead of paying attention?  Ok, It's not on his face or head that I can see.  Let me check for puncture wounds on his body...  

And on, and on, and on.

I finally worked my way all around his body, down his legs and back up to his arms.  On his right thumb, I finally found the source of all the blood.

It was a scratch, very shallow, about a quarter inch square.

Yeah.  That was all.

One measly little scratch that didn't even need stitches.

However, it was right in the crease of his thumb, so every time he moved his hand, it bled a little.  

One Incredible Hulk band-aid later, all was right with the world again.

I didn't see anything in his room that he could have possibly scratched it on, so I chalked it up to a crazy fluke, put him back in bed to finish his nap, and went toward the master bathroom to wash my hands... and I saw this:

I died a little.

Then I threw up in my mouth.

Then I decided that nap time has officially been cancelled.  



  1. I'm sorry I laughed, but I had to! I see a razor, and what's the rest of all that stuff?

  2. Yes, the razor was the culprit, and he bled all over the electric toothbrush. Nice, huh?

  3. My youngest did this but he didn't bleed much. I saw a few little scratches on his cheek, where'd you get that buddy?? He mumbled some answer, LATER I see the razor on the sink.... OMGosh, what could have happened!!!!!! Little bugger's and their silent sneakiness!!

  4. @Janet, I'm still mostly upset that I DIDN'T HEAR HIM. At all. How did that even happen? It's not like we have a super-sized mansion with multiple wings...

  5. It's the way they work don't you know, he is your second after all... He has a teacher not to much bigger than he is ;)

    They ALL learn from the older one and it stinks a big one!!

    I've had one go out the front door WITH ME IN THE SAME ROOM only my back was turned and I was TALKING TO HER... Turned around because she didn't answer and she disappeared, ran thru the house calling her then out the door as the neighbor was bringing her home.. Tell me how that happened?!?!?!
    I still can't figure out how i didn't hear the door open OR shut (it is not a quiet door)

  6. OH and the same child when she was 2, dad put the oven on to pre-heat and the nuggets on the sheet on top of the stove....... about 15min or so later he was smelling chicken!! The 2YEAR OLD child was hungry and not about to wait for dad to put them in the 350 DEGREE OVEN!!!!!


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