Learning new things with gusto.

Mama’s Losin’ It

Talk about something your child learned this week.

So the other day, I've just sent my kids out to play and I'm just getting ready to sit down with my Entertainment Weekly magazine, which is my guilty weekly pleasure, when I hear the doorbell.


I ignored it for a minute, thinking surely it must be one of my kids wanting a drink of water or a popsicle or a bandaid or for me to rescue a kite out of the kite-eating tree.  Usually if I don't answer right away, they wander off to do something else, but then it rang again, more insistently this time.


I answered the door, and it was one of the neighborhood kids.

"Miss Jo," the kid says, (which is not my name at all but is MUCH closer than the "Hey" or "Hey, Zachary's mom" than I usually get) "Miss Jo, Zachary said a bad word.  A dirty word.  Ya know, a cuss word."

Well shit.  Where would he have learned THAT?

I thanked the kid for letting me know and then called Zachary inside where I said all the appropriate things to him including "Mama doesn't always set the best example about this, you know, but how about we both try harder since we both know better, ok?"

Then I sent him along to play and poured myself a small glass of wine even though it was the middle of the day, because this parenting business, it's HARD and sometimes you just need to shout a profanity or have a drink but then you're a "bad example" or whatever and how are these children ever going to grow up and lead normal happy productive lives with me at the helm?  HOW???

Whew.  Calm down mj.  Calm. Down.

And on the complete other end of the spectrum, the very next day I dropped Cooper off for his Kindergarden 101 class at the local library.  When I picked him up, I said, "So, what did you learn today?" and I totally expected it to be something like the letter B or the color blue something about dinosaurs but instead he said "I learned the months of the year."

Oh really?  Really kid?  You can't remember to ever flush the toilet EVER even though I tell you to every day - EVERY DAY -  but I leave you alone with a stranger for about a minute and suddenly you know all the months of the year?

"Oh yeah?" I said to him.  "Prove it."

So he did.

And that's the story of what my kids learned this week.  One learned to cuss and one learned all the months of the year.  Sadly, I can only take credit for one of those accomplishments.

Did your kids learn anything new this week?


  1. My son told me he learned all about plants this week - which was all well and good - but then he told me something that blew my mind that he knew... and I totally forgot what it was! I remember thinking, though, how cool it was that he'd learned it.

    1. I'm always in awe when my kids know stuff that seems way beyond their years. They're like little sponges.

  2. OMG. This made me laugh! I'm not proud of it, but I tend to cuss like a sailor...often. I try so hard not to say bad things in front of my kids, but sometimes I slip. So when we heard my son yell "F You!" at his sister one day, my husband immediately glared at me and said, "Wonder where he learned THAT from?" I prefer to blame the public school system...yeah.

    1. I think my kid learns it all on the school bus. I'm going with that ;)

  3. Too funny, MJ! This made me smile. And your son is so sweet reciting the months of the year.

    Stacey, your comment made me smile, too. I can just hear that conversation between you and your husband!

    1. My mother of the year award got repossessed a LONG time ago, ya know ?

  4. I am a constant "do not attempt" poster for my son, so I can relate. Every day I look for a note from the teacher about the bad words Zane has said!

    1. Oh no. Notes from the teacher give me hives. Really. My phone rang the other day and it was my son's school and I IMMEDIATELY turned to him and said "WHAT DID YOU DO?" Turns out it was something good. Oy.

  5. OK this is great. Sometimes our most effective lessons are of the "do what I say, not what I do" variety.


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