Both of my kids are talkers.

Prolific talkers.

When zj was two and I took him in for his yearly check-up with the pediatrician, she interrupted him to say to me, "He's very verbal, isn't he?" She said it with a mixture of awe and just a tiny bit of pity, because I'm pretty sure she realized that he talked that much ALL.  THE.  TIME.  When cj had his two year checkup, he mostly growled and barked at the pediatrician, but then he talked to me about it all the way home.  "That doctor bery nice, Mama."

RJ and I often blame each other for the boys' ability to talk about anything and everything for long periods of time without them ever coming up for air.

"Well, it was your idea to teach them how to talk," RJ will say to me frequently.

"Yeah, but they clearly get their lung capacity from you.  That's why they just keep going," I'll respond.

 Sometimes it seems like they are talking just to hear the sound of their own voices, and it's kinda hard for me to follow along, like when zj gives me a play by play of his Pokemon game as he's playing it.  "Ok, I'm going to use Ted.  I need a strong Poke to capture.  I'm going to have to do to the daycare and get healed.  This Pokemon has special powers. I'm going to have to click here.  Oh man, It didn't let me run.  It might be because it's so powerful.  Hey, this one JUST EVOLVED.  I think I need to save.  Oh man, this potion won't work.  I've seen this guy before."  And on and on and on... This is where I usually just smile, nod, and make undefinable noises to prove that I'm really listening.  I'll have to say, though, most of the time they really do keep me amused.  Here are some random snippets of conversations in the past week or so:

ME: "Hey, guys, we're going to stop at the Dollar Tree.  There are a couple things I want to pick up."
ZJ: "Cool! I love that place!  You wanna know a secret about the Dollar Tree?"
ME: "Sure, what's the secret?"
ZJ: "Well, I know FOR A FACT that the Easter Bunny shops there."


ME: "CJ, thank you so much for sitting quietly when I asked you to.  Great job!"
ZJ: "Wow, he sat there the whole time?  I don't think I could EVER do that."

CJ: "Mama!  Where your curse (purse) at?  You lose your curse?  Oh no, Mama don't got no CURSE no more!"  Shouted as loudly as possible while in line at the grocery.  

ZJ (to my sister):  "Well, I heard that you used to have a wife a long time ago, but it didn't work out."

ME:  "CJ, that's private.  Do you know what private means?"
CJ: "Private means don't touch people's butts!"

ZJ:  "Mama, I need to ask you something."
ME: "Sure zj, what is it?"
ZJ: "Do you think Santa can see me when I touch my penis?"

ZJ:  "Mama look!  This bottle has DNA in it!"
ME: "DNA? What do you mean?"
ZJ: "I got cj to pee in it for me!  Now we can clone him!"


  1. Well, I guess I needed to clean my keyboard anyway, so the iced coffee I just spit all over it at the "cloning" conversation really isn't a problem. You can't make this shit up!

    1. You know, I mainly write posts like this so that I won'y forget all this stuff when they're grown up. I'm pretty sure I won't forget about the cloning for a long, long, long time though. Especially since I got to clean up after it ;-)

  2. Awesome, Awesome, AWESOME!!!! I love this!!!


Pin It button on image hover