This really SHOULD be an easy question.
So, my 20 year high school reunion is coming up, and even though I haven't decided whether or not I'm going to go, I thought I would at least fill out the pre-reunion info sheet and send it back in so all my information could be included in the booklet of "Whatever happened to her?" and "Is he out of jail yet?" fame.
I mean, really, it was only one page and it should take five minutes to fill out. I can handle that, right? After all, I'm sure all my old classmates are just dying to find out where I ended up.
So I filled in the first few - name, address, e-mail address, relationship status... Then I saw it. The DREADED QUESTION. The one I usually avoid answering at all possible costs.
What is your anniversary and how many years have you been married?
Oh. My. God.
Now I realize that this question does not strike fear in anyone else's heart like it does mine, but considering that RJ and I were married for five years, then divorced for five years, and now have been married again for eight years, it's really a pretty complicated question for me to answer accurately.
Whenever people I'm just getting to know ask me, I usually answer "On and off for about 18 years now," or "We married the first time in 1994." But I always say it really fast and then immediately change the subject before it has a chance to process in their brains that what I said doesn't make any sense. Well, to anyone except for RJ and me, that is.
Now technically I could answer "eight years," and while that's correct, it's also incorrect, you know? It's like the first five years didn't happen, and boy, did they ever happen. I tell RJ all the time that my first husband was an asshole who never picked his socks up off the floor and RJ tells me that his first wife was a bitch who didn't understand him, and sadly, we are both correct.
My friend Natalie suggested I write in 5-5+8, and I also toyed around with just filling in "It's complicated," like a Facebook relationship status update gone bad.
The anniversary question always throws me for a loop, too.
We're not really an anniversary-celebrating couple (thank God) because neither one of us can ever remember either date accurately. The first time we got married it was in May, and the second time it was in June, so we usually go out to dinner sometime during that two month span and call it a celebration.
Hey, it works for us.
It's just hard to explain to other people.
So here I sit, staring at this question.
And I still don't know what to write.