Hello, and welcome to our weekly meeting of Cool Moms Drinking Coffee In The Park, or CMDCITP for short. I'm Miffy, and I'm in charge, of course.
As the first order of business today for this meeting of Cool Moms Drinking Coffee In The Park, or CMDCITP for short, I'd like to go over some of the rules.
First, these rules are non-negotiable, and you must follow them AT ALL times in order to remain an active member of Cool Moms Drinking Coffee In The Park, or CMDCITP for short. Ok, is everyone paying attention. Biffy? Tiffy? Everyone? Ok. Rule one, and really, this is the most important of all the rules when you want to be a member of Cool Moms Drinking Coffee In The Park, or CMDCITP for short, is that you should never, ever, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, acknowledge your children in any way. Think of them as props. We are here to be Cool Moms Drinking Coffee In The Park, or CMDCITP for short, and although it would seem strange to come without kids, we're not really here for them, you know? It's all about us lounging around in our park-inappropriate yellow pants and wedge heels, looking cool.
Now, on to Rule 2. If your children are so annoying as to keep trying to get your attention - I'm looking at you, Fluffy - do not make eye contact. Do. Not. Just look away. At some point, some crazy eyed mom like that one over there - you see the one in the Superman t-shirt and Crocs with her hair all blowing out of her clip? - will take pity on your kid and push her in the swing and randomly yell "great job!" in her direction when she climbs the rock wall. On a really good day, several of these kinds of moms will be here to deal with your kids for you. You can't be bothered, because you're busy being an important member of Cool Moms Drinking Coffee In The Park, or CMDCITP for short.
The third rule is to always take up as much space as possible. Some of us can sit on the benches, sure, but where's the fun in that? It's much more fun for some of the members of Cool Moms Drinking Coffee In The Park, or CMDCITP for short, to stand strategically in the way of everyone else. It's so fun to watch the crazy-eyed moms have to go all the way around us every time they chase one of their kids (or sometimes one of our kids, SCORE) by here.
Rule 4 is an extension of Rule 3, really. You should always bring extra stuff. Drinks in custom deigned Tervis Tumblers that you have no intention of drinking, jackets in 80 degree weather. Be creative, girls! Now, take all your stuff and put in places that will be inconvenient to everyone, like draped over the monkey bars and slides or on the steps leading to the tower. Now make sure you yell at any kid who gets near it. I know that this is in direct contradiction to Rule 1 of Cool Moms Drinking Coffee In The Park, or CMDCITP for short, but it's ok to acknowledge them under these circumstances.
Ok, ladies, does everyone have it? Any questions about the rules about Cool Moms Drinking Coffee In The Park, or CMDCITP for short? Ok then, this meeting of Cool Moms Drinking Coffee In The Park, or CMDCITP for short is officially underway. On my count... ONE... TWO... THREE... Ok...
LOOK COOL AND BORED, STARTING NOW!!!!!!!
I love this!!!!
ReplyDeleteWhen my oldest was 1 I took him to chuckie cheeses or something like it and asked a young mom to take our picture in the tube(yup I'm that mom) and after she did she told me 1)she liked my shirt. 2)that it was her little man's birthday. 3) she hated that place(was so bored) and couldn't wait for HIM to be done so they could leave...
What did I say you ask............."oh that's to bad, I love playing with my little man, we have such fun" IDIOTS!
They are not puppies/purses/new shoes... They are People you CHOSE to have!!!!!
Yes, I'm always amazed at the people who take their kids all these fun places but then don't want to be bothered with them once they get there...
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