Pity party.

Yesterday morning, I threw myself a little party.

It went something like this.

I can't believe I overslept.  Of all the stupid things I could do, how could I have overslept?  Clearly, I am not a capable human being.  I should just stay in bed all day and maybe eat tacos.  I could get really fat eating tacos like those people they have to cut out of their houses and load onto a flatbed truck with a crane.  Poor me, running late to my run.  It's useless anyway.  I'm working out every day, and my a$$ is still the size of a house.  Dammit.  I'll just give up.  Pointless, stupid, lazy...

Fast forward 15 minutes.  Workout gear on, run in progress...

Dammit.  My foot is hurt again.  Same spot as before.  I'll just keep going, though, because there is a race next week that I have been training for and I don't want to miss it DAMMIT!  OW!  Ok, slowing down, silly me, thinking I could do something like run an actual 5k race, clearly I am not capable of basic human function because I'm a useless, pointless fat slob who can't even use a basic piece of workout equipment without injuring myself.  I deserve to be fat.  Maybe I'll just give up all together.  I'll stop bathing and stop tweezing my eyebrows and stop shaving my armpits because what's the use?  It's just like lipstick on a pig...  

Thirty minutes later... Post shower, dressed and ready to begin my career as a sloth.

RJ: "You look nice today."


And suddenly, all is right with the world again.

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