My internet went out for about a minute. It was like the freaking Dark Ages.

So...  It's Friday night.  

Friday night is a night that I can usually count on RJ to go out,  either to play poker or for drinks with the guys after work.  So typically I put the kids to bed at 5:30 and plan an evening of drinking, enjoyment and relaxation for myself.  Typically.  

On this particular Friday night, I had my Sonic Cherry Limeade mixed with rum, my kids in bed by seven, and my night planned.

As I was eating my dinner (Triscuits, cheddar cheese and pepperoni, if you must know) the electricity blinked.  Just for a second.  It came right back on, so I though very little of it.  

I moved on to phase two of my relaxing evening.  I had my fruity rum drink, my trusted Nook, my Ipad, my MacBook, and I was set for an evening of relaxation.

I sat down in front of the computer, opened Facebook, and... nothing.  Nada.  Zip.  Zilch.

I refreshed.  Silly little computer.  Why would you want to play games with me?  I have some drunk Facebooking to do, and some tweeting, and some Ebaying and some blogging.  I am a very busy girl, and I have things to do.  Surely you are just being silly.

Still nothing.  Then I get a message on the screen.  "Your computer is not connected to the internet.  Check your internet connection and try this page again."


Not. Cool.  

We have wi-fi in our house, but I'm currently plugged into this cool little blue cord that makes my MacBook faster than the speed of light.

I unplugged it.  I plugged it back in.


I set it to wi-fi.

Still nothin'.

It was ok.  I didn't panic.  I still have my Ipad.  It was ok.

Ipad. No. Internet.

Oh dear, this is freakin' bad.  BAD.

I fired off a quick text to RJ.  "Um, hon, the electricity blinked and none of my gadgets work.  Any thoughts?"

I waited for at least four minutes for a really long time with no response.  Hmm.  He must be really busy.  

Text number two: "There is no internet here.  I either need you to answer my message and TELL ME HOW TO FIX IT OR GET YOUR A$$ HOME. NOW. Please?"  My Mama always said you can catch more flies with honey, you know...

Still no response.  

After gulping most of my rum drink taking a moment to compose myself, I decided that surely I could figure out something interesting to do without the internet.  I pulled out my Nook, and decided to read a bit.  But...  I needed a new book and it's kinda hard to search on that itty-bitty screen and I'll just jump on my computer to find a new one... Oh wait.  I drank some more rum.

Ok, well, I have a fun new puzzle game app on my Ipad.  I can just play that for a while, right?  Gosh, I'm so resilient, so smart, so adaptable.  I can live without the internet...  Ipad out, app pulled up, and I get this message "You must be connected to the internet to play this game.  Please check your internet connection now."  Rum drink refill time.


Third text messageto RJ: "I'm moving.  I hear many hotels have free internet.  It's like the Dark Ages here.  I cannot thrive under these circumstances.  Goodbye."

Within a few minutes, I get a response from RJ with some very complicated, very complex, very hard to follow directions to unplug the wi-fi thingy and plug it back it.  I took a deep breath, drank some more rum, and tried to work my way through all the complicated steps in the process. 

After I was finished, I walked back over the the computer, took a swig of rum, and hit reload.

Facebook - success!

I checked the Ipad.  Internet connection good.

And then I passed out.

The end.

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