I really don't like Wal-Mart very much.

Don't get me wrong.  I go there.

Pretty much every couple of weeks or so.

Because I can save $.47 on a pack of underwear.  And since I'm quite possibly the cheapest person I know, that's pretty important to me.

But I hate it with a passion that I cannot explain in words that are appropriate to the internet audience.

Sometimes, I get up at 4am, shower, get dressed and go to Wal-Mart before the crowds hit.  RJ doesn't mind.  What that means for him is that he kids are still in bed when I leave, and they are still in bed when I get home.  It's a win-win situation for him.

I'm pretty sure I developed my intense feelings for Wal-Mart the the one time that I got trapped in an aisle and I had to leave my full cart of stuff in order to save myself an get out.

True story.

I was in Wal-Mart at around midnight.  It was a weekend, and I had just worked a closing shift.  I needed some deodorant, and maybe some olives.  I don't really remember.  It was years ago.

Anyway, I had a pretty full cart of stuff, and I remember that I needed some paper towels, so I went down the paper towel lane.

Obviously, that was a bad idea.

As I was strolling down the aisle, trying to decide - Select-A-Size or regular?  a very conscientious Wal-Mart employee parked a pallet of stuff at the end of the aisle.  No problem.  I was going in the other direction, anyway.

I spent a few minutes trying to decide on the square boxes of Kleenex vs. the rectangular boxes of Kleenex, and then headed toward he checkout.

But...

By the time I got to the other end of the aisle, yet another Wal-Mart employee had parked yet another pallet of stuff at that end.  Hmmm.  What to do?  I peeked my head around the massive pallet of stuff to look for someone to save me.  No dice.  Must have been break time.

I decided the only possible way out was sort of OVER and AROUND the big pallet, and of course, my cart wouldn't fit.

So I did the only logical thing.

I abandoned my cart and got he hell out of Wal-Mart.