If it's such a great idea, why don't more people do it?

This is zj's room:

 It's full of super heroes and toys and fun things. (Don't mind the unmade bed. It's not a strength around here.) It is a perfectly acceptable room for a little boy.  Except for the fact that his feet hang off the end of the bed and it's clearly WAY past time to move him from a toddler bed to something a little more permanent.

 This is cj's room:

It's full of Mickey Mouse and rocket ships and cows and it is a perfectly acceptable room for a little boy. Except for some reason in the winter, due to tree placement and wind trajectories and an bunch of other sciency things it stays somewhere in the vicinity of 47 degrees below zero from the time the sun goes down till the time it comes back up in the morning.

This is the corner between my kitchen and living room:

It used to be a lovely little corner shelf that held my cookbooks, a couple plants and some candle holders. Now it mostly holds Batmobiles.

 This is the floor in my library/office:

 This is where all the kids' art supplies live. Oy.

 As someone who abhors clutter, all of these things are a bit of a problem for me. At least once a day week month I have a complete and total meltdown over it, which usually involves me stepping on an Ironman head then yelling things like "I'm gonna throw all this sh*t in the trash if I have to pick it up ONE. MORE. TIME. DO. YOU. UNDERSTAND. ME?"

They don't, by the way.  Understand me, that is.

So I've been formulating a plan to reduce the amount of clutter and kids' toys and whatnot that has taken over my very soul, which is also known as the common area of our house.  My first thought was to ship the kids off to live-away boarding school for the next 15 years or so...  Nah, too expensive.  My next thought involved a very elaborate set-up by which I staged a home robbery and all the kids' toys were stolen.  But that was scary because then people would feel bad for them and just get them more junk (Aunt B, you know who you are!!!).  Then I thought I would just throw away or donate a bunch of their crap, but since zj wails for hours every time I try to throw away the BOX a toy came in, I nixed that one, too.  There is not enough vodka in Russia to get me through that one.

Then I hit upon a plan, a plan so brilliant, so wonderful, so magnificent, so magical, that I almost can't even bear to speak it aloud.

So I'll whisper.  Here it goes:

*whispers*  I will get the boys bunk beds and move them both into zj's room.  Zj will have a bed he doesn't fall out of every night,  cj will stop waking up with frostbite on his extremities, and all will be right with the world.  Then, and this is the best part, so pay attention, *voice is getting louder due to extreme excitement* I will convert cj's room to a play room, complete with art desks, their computer, all their toys from all over the house *practically yelling* AND I CAN JUST THROW ALL THEIR CRAP IN THERE AND CLOSE THE DOOR AND I WON'T HAVE TO LOOK AT IT AND IT WON'T BE ALL OVER MY HOUSE ANY MORE!!!!!

Ahem.  Excuse me.  I feel better now.

I've gone over and over and over this plan in my head, and it seems sound.

But here's my question.

If this is such a brilliant idea, why don't I hear about more people doing it?  What am I missing here?  Am I so blinded by the thought of having my cookbook shelf back that I'm not thinking clearly?  Pretty much every family I know who has more than one kid and more than one bedroom has them in separate rooms, so clearly that's the norm...  WHAT AM I MISSING????

I would go into it fully aware that in a few years - five? ten? - one boy or another might begin to demand some privacy and we would likely have to split them back up again, but I kinda like the thought that my house can change to accommodate what my family needs.  Zj's room started out as the most lovely shabby chic guest bedroom with pale lavender walls... sigh...  and cj's room used to be a home office, so I'm certainly not adverse to making changes here and there.

So help me out.  Help me understand.  Has anyone out there tried this?   Was it good? Bad? Just ok?  PLEASE SAY GOOD.

Because seriously, I'm drowning in superheroes and toy cars here, and any input would be appreciated.

 

Spicy Chex Mix. Because there are simply not enough Chex Mix recipes in the world.

I'm a salty snack kinda gal.

Oh, I like the occasional cookie or brownie or ice cream cone just fine, but set me in front of an unopened bag of Lay's potato chips and I'll last MAYBE .34746 seconds before I rip it open and start to suck down all that salty crunchy greasy yummy OH MY GOD I'LL BE RIGHT BACK I HAVE TO GO EAT SOME POTATO CHIPS RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!

Ahem.

Ok, I feel better now.

Back to my story.

About 10 or 12 years or so ago, I worked with a wonderful woman named Betty O'Kelley.  She was one of those people who always celebrated every single holiday with wild abandon.  Fourth of July?  Sparklers in her hair.  St. Patrick's Day?  Shamrock cupcakes for everyone!   When the holidays rolled around and we would begin the inevitable potluck meals to get us through the retail Hell that was bearing down around us, she always had something yummy for all of us.

Once she brought in a big bowl of this Chex Mix, and I thought "Meh, Chex Mix," and promptly ignored it in favor of other delightful foody things that were filling up our break room table.  Sadly, I had to actually stop eating and go wait on customers for a few hours, and when I came back, pretty much everything else was gone.  I guess other people thought "Meh, Chex Mix," too.  Anyway, I picked up a handful, popped into my mouth, and promptly fell in love.

It's delightful.

It's also kinda spicy, which is an excellent thing in my opinion.

WHAT YOU NEED:
1/4 cup margarine (that's half a stick, by the way)
2 T. Worcestershire sauce - in 37 years of life, I have not heard this pronounced the same way twice.   Plus everybody who tries to say it sounds like he has marbles in his mouth.
2 T. Tabasco sauce
1 1/2 t. Lawry's Seasoned Salt
1 t. garlic powder
1 t. onion powder
1 t. cayenne pepper
1 t. Mrs. Dash Extra Spicy Blend
1 t. Mrs. Dash Garlic & Herb Blend
8 cups Chex Cereal.  I like to use a couple cups of Wheat Chex and then the rest either Rice or Corn Chex, or if I'm feeling really crazy, a combo of the two.
2 cups mini pretzels
2 cups Goldfish crackers
1 cup mixed nuts.  Ok, lets be honest here.  Everyone knows the nuts are the best part.  Throw in a whole small can if you want to.

WHAT YOU DO:
Heat your oven to 250 degrees.  In the largest shallow baking pan you have, melt the butter in the oven.  While the butter is melting, mix all the seasonings into a small bowl.  Remove the melted butter from the oven and stir the seasoning mixture into it.  Dump in all the cereal, pretzels, Goldfish and nuts, and stir and stir and stir and stir until everything is pretty much evenly coated.  Bake it in the 250 degree oven for an hour, stirring it every 15 minutes.

After it is out of the oven, let it cool completely, then store it in an airtight container.  It will store that way forever, but it tastes so damn good it won't last that long anyway.

 

Do you feel like a good cry today?

I'm not a sentimental type.

I don't cry much.

Ok, I almost never cry.

I like to fancy myself a stoic type, very Vulcan-like and unemotional and practical and all that.

My Sis B recently told me that I don't have feelings like a "normal person," like we're experts on THAT or something.

Whatever.

Also, I pretty much never re-post or re-tweet or even watch or look at the sappy sentimental videos and pictures that are all over the internet, and that many people seem to love.

So when I got floored, like absolutely dropping on the ground ugly-crying into my coffee not once but twice by random videos in the past two weeks, I decided I had to share.

You're welcome.



I randomly clicked on this video on Facebook, mainly because it was posted by someone who never posts anything, so I figured it must be at least vaguely interesting.

I have gone back and watched it about a dozen times, and every time I sob hysterically.  At this point, I don't even have to get to the good part before the weird hiccuppy sobs start.

Then this morning I ran across this little gem via Twitter, and clicked it for pretty much the same reason.  Somebody who doesn't post videos put the link out there, so I gave it a quick click.


Danny & Annie from StoryCorps on Vimeo.


And... cue waterworks.

At this point, I'm afraid I may be getting softer and sentimental in my old age or something.

I may need an intervention, or the next step in this journey of mine may include holiday sweaters that light up and minivan stickers portraying my entire family, including the goldfish.

Somebody save me.

Please.

 

Geeky shoes for all the geeks in the world.

So, because I am somewhat insane, and because I am somewhat cheap, I decided that I would craft many of my Christmas gifts this year.

I know.

Insane.

I used to love to craft things.  My friend Natalie and I used to craft all kinds of things.  Well, ok, maybe we didn't really FINISH any of them, but we did buy lots of beads and wire and things and spontaneously yell "WE COULD MAKE THAT!" every time we would to see something cute and shiny and dangly.

I used to quilt.  Not well, but I did it.  And I loved it.

I'm not sure why I stopped, exactly, but I'm sure it has something to do with having a job with responsibilities and then having a house that seems to always need to be cleaned and then having these boys who always need to be fed and loved and such.

But I feel like I'm back on the crafting wagon, such as it is.

Anyway, so far most of my crafting has consisted of pinning things I would like to make, but not actually making many of them.   Oh, and also, I've spent a whole lot of time shopping for craft supplies.  Michael's is like a time warp.  I walk in at 10 and come out at 2, feeling like I've only been there 15 minutes or so.

But I have done a couple things.

A couple weeks ago, I made these shoes for myself - not a Christmas gift, I know - and they were easy and fun.

I was inspired by Pinterest, of course, and a better description that I could ever give can be found here:

at Cut Out and Keep.

So now I'm currently working on these for my nephew:

My nephew, by the way, never reads my blog and better not start now or he will see part of his Christmas present early.

DO YOU HEAR ME, JUSTIN??  DO NOT READ THIS POST!!!

The next project on my list will require use of my sewing machine and I'm a bit rusty.

Wish me luck.

I'm going to need it.

 

The Player.

During zj's second week of school I got a note from the teacher.

It read:

"Zj is having trouble keeping his hands to himself.  I have spoken to him about this several times, and I hope you will, too."

I gave zj a cursory "Remember not to touch the other kids, ok?  Your teacher sent a note home about it.  You'll do better, right?"

"Right, Mama."

Ok, whew.   First school discipline problem averted.

A couple weeks later, I got another note.

"Zj is still struggling with keeping his hands off the other students."

So this time, I actually decided to do a bit of parenting -I didn't have anything else going on that day -  and find out what was going on.  

ME: "Zj, your teacher sent home another note about touching the other students.  What's going on?"

ZJ: "Well, I try not to, but sometimes I can't help it."

ME: "I understand it's hard to be still sometimes, but you might be making the other boys and girls uncomfortable if you keep touching them."

ZJ: "But Mama, she said I could."

Hmmm... It turns out he was only touching ONE student.  Her name was Ginny, and she had "long yellow hair."  He liked to touch her hair because it was so soft.

The yellow-hairs will get you in trouble every time.  Trollops.

A few weeks later, zj came home from school announcing "a couple kids tried to rip him into two pieces at recess time."  My mind immediately went to bullying and mistreatment and such so I began grilling him about the details.  I had to put my considerable interrogation techniques to work, but I finally figured out that he was being fought over by two little girls in his class, each of whom wanted him to play with her exclusively.

Awesome.

Last week, after zj got home from school and I was cleaning out his bag, I found a picture - made with markers, which are pretty much OUTLAWED in the kindergarten classroom - that was covered with hearts and J's and 6's.   When I asked him about it, he said it was a note from a girl in his class.  "Which girl?" I asked.  "I can't remember her name, Mama.  There are A LOT of girls in my class, you know." he replied.  Oh.  Of course there are.

Then yesterday when I picked him up from the bus, before I could even get out a "HiHowWasYourDay?" he greeted me with this:  "I have to take a silly band to school for Josie because hers broke and she made me pinkie swear that I would bring her one.  Hers was a pink flower. Pink is Josie's favorite color.  And she likes flowers."

Ummm, ok.

So I went through the entire "You're not supposed to take toys to school you might have to face consequences for this I'm not sure this is a good idea" litany.  Zj's response?  "Mama.  It was a PINKY SWEAR."   Well, there's that then.  Pinky swear trumps everything.

I put him on the bus this morning, pink flower silly band firmly on his wrist, with strict instructions about not getting into trouble with it, etc., etc., yada, yada, yada.  

I asked him about it first thing this afternoon.  "Did Josie like her silly band?"

"Oh.  Another girl on the bus saw it and told me she liked it.  So I gave it to her instead.  But it's ok.  Josie isn't mad.  I sat by her at lunch, so she forgave me."

If this is what five is like, I'm not going to survive six.  Or sixteen.  Heaven help us all.

 

Vegetable Lo Mein. From the best Asian restaurant in town.

There are foreigners among us, where by "foreigners" I mean all my boys, who are of the Vietnamese persuasion, and by "among us" I mean in my house.  And they all LOVE them some Asian food.  So even though my tastes run more toward biscuits and gravy, beans and cornbread, fried chicken and mashed potatoes, and grain alcohol, I have learned over the years to cook things with a semi-Asian flair.  Is it authentic?  Some of it.  RJ's mother has seen to that.  Is it good?  All of it.  Even my redneck-I-only-eat-deep-fried-things-made-from-white-flour-and-cornmeal taste buds water for homemade spring rolls and pho.

My latest undertaking has been vegetable lo mein.  This is definitely the more Americanized restaurant takeout style, not the more traditional "this is a big pile of noodles for your soup" style.  But it is damn tasty, and far better - and better for you - than what you can buy at the China One Buffet King, or wherever.

WHAT YOU NEED:

One pound of lo mein noodles.  Just go into your local Asian food store and ask what kind of noodles are best for lo mein.  They will tell you.  It is not an ancient Chinese secret.  I have heard of people using spaghetti or some such, but that just seems so wrong to me.  If you aren't gonna put meatballs on it, put the spaghetti away. 

This is what RJ came back from the Asian food store with, and it was perfect.

When I first saw this kind, I wasn't sure if they would be good because they were kinda flat noodles, not the round ones that I was used to.  Then I read the back of the box, and I felt much better.  

I can set my mind at ease?  You will safeguard my expenditure?  Well allllllllright!  Nothing to worry about, then.

YOU WILL ALSO NEED:

1/2 tsp. fresh ginger - I keep a big hunk in the freezer.  It will store for months and months.  I lopped off a quarter inch piece and while it was mostly still frozen, zested it up with my microplane.

3-4 cloves of garlic, finely minced

1/3 cup soy sauce - I use the low sodium kind, because I read the label on the full-strength stuff one time and realized two tablespoons had my RDA of sodium.  Ummm, I still need my potato chips, ya know... You cannot tell the difference.  Get the low sodium stuff.  Really. 

1 tablespoon Hoisin sauce

1 teaspoon sesame seed oil

I bought the two ingredients above at my local Kroger.  They are yummy.  They are a bit pricey.  A little goes a long way.  They are totally worth it, especially the sesame oil.  I could drink that stuff, but be careful not to overdo it like I did the first time because it does have a strong flavor that will overpower everything else if you use too much.

1 medium onion, thinly sliced

3-4 green onions, roughly chopped

1-2 cups sliced mushooms.  Canned, fresh, whatever

1 cup bean sprouts, or not, if you don't like bean sprouts

1 16 oz. bag frozen stir fry vegetables.  I used the Wal-Mart brand, and they worked just fine.  

1-2 tsp. canola oil, or vegetable oil, or whatever other frying oil you have

WHAT YOU DO:

Cook the noodles according to the package directions.  My particular package recommended that I "Put noodles into boiling water and stir till water is reboiling up.  While water boiling make flame weak so avoid it over boiling over."   Simple, huh?  When they're done, drain and rinse them and set them aside.

Next in a large pan or wok, heat the canola oil, then begin to saute the onions - both kinds.  After a couple minutes over medium heat, start adding in the mushrooms, the bean sprouts, the garlic and the ginger.  Give that a minute to saute, then add in the frozen vegetables.  Continue to heat it over medium heat until the veggies are warm through, then add in the soy sauce, Hoisin sauce and sesame seed oil.  Heat till it begins to bubble.

Now add in the noodles, a few at a time, stirring and stirring and stirring and stirring until all the noodles are incorporated into the veggies and sauce.  There will be much stirring.  You will think there isn't enough sauce.  There is.  You just need to keep stirring ;-)

Eat it all.  It's delightful.  

If I would have had some leftover roast chicken or pork, I would have thrown that in, too.  This would be a fabulous way to use up any leftover meat or veggies you have lurking in the fridge.  

This is a meal unto itself, but I had some of my famous spring rolls in the freezer, so I thawed some of those to go with the lo mein, and it was good in my mouth.